We care, for the better.
A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.
- How do I know if they're using drugs?
- Why do they use drugs/alcohol?
- Is it my fault?
- How can I cope with their behaviour?
- Understanding the stages of addiction and recovery
- Where do I get the help I need?
- Getting support for your loved one
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My fiancé does coke
Posted by Lightbulb on 3 August 2015.
I met my fiancé about 2 and a half years ago and pretty much lived together since we met. Probably a really bad idea looking back. He had a pretty bad upbringing...dad was an alcoholic and mother with mental health issues. This all made me want to look after him even more. I am desperate for some help as I have just left the home we live in together as I could not cope with his coke use. I feel racked with guilt and sick to the stomach but it is beginning to affect my mental health. He ignores my pleas with him to stop. There's random people sleeping over every weekend. When I read this I know I've been a fool and an enabler (I only just found out what that means). I was very naive to drug use and how it affects people and their relationships. He only does it about 2 or 3 times a month at the weekends. I'm not sure if that's a lot or not but it totally ruins our weekends and he's pretty much useless for rest of week. I end up staying on my own in bed as it depresses me so much. I earn the majority of the wages and keep payments up on rent etc. I have become very bitter towards him even though I love him dearly. He has been doing it on and off since he was 16 and he's 37 now. It feels like I live with a teenage boy and I am his nagging mother. I have never touched anything not even smoked and he accuses me of being judgmental and that I don't understand why people do it, which makes me feel guilty. Like I say I have left the home we shared and I am determined not to give him any more money or make it easy for him anymore to live off me. I don't know what else to do. He won't admit he has a problem and tells me it's normal to do coke and drink every weekend and that I'm the abnormal one. I'm not putting him in s good light but he is a lovely lovely person and when we're in holiday away from it all he's amazing. Can anyone please help me? I don't know if I should not have any contact with him or what the best thing to do is. I have no experience in these matters at all.
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