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my husband

Posted by my life on 25 March 2014.

Iv been with my husband 6 years but only been married for 2 years when i first met him he told me about hes past with drug but he had sorted himself out and it all had stopped. Three years ago he became friends with someone who got him back on cocaine, at first i thought it was nothing but it got so bad .. To me its bad. I walked out the other week and he come and got me and promised me he would stop! Now i understand its not easy because hes a addict and there will be slips but i get so angry with him i couldn't imagine my life with out him but i cant keep doing this we don't have any children but i don't want a baby untill things are sorted because i would leave if i had children i just don't no what to do 😞 am I just being selfish in just so lost.

Comments

mefirst
5 Apr 2014

I have recently made my husband move out because of his cocaine abuse! we have two children and I need to protect them and me. I found out he was using a year ago...he has promised to stop, cried, and manipulated me and my emotions into feeling guilty over and over agian. I always knew deep down inside that the right thing to do was to make him move out, but i know its difficult.  This is my advice to you.  First of all YOU are not selfish!! you need to think of your own wellbeing, you cant sacrifice yourself for the sake of someone elses addiction.  This is not a light matter, even though the addicts intentions are sincere at the time he promises to quit, the drug has such a strong hold on the addict so he will undoubtedly slip over and over again,  you staying with him only enables it, Don´t get stuck covering up for your husband, financially, and emotionally.  the best way for him to get help is if you have 0 tolerance for his use, meaning you leave him. He needs to own his own problem!! only then might he be able to quit if he truly wants to. Get out of this relationship, nothing good will come of it. He will need a lot of support, but don´t feel bad if you dont have the strength to give it to him, what you can do is help him find the support, talk to his family and friends, be open about this problem, there is help out there... If he manages to quit and is healthy, then you can start thinking about if you want to get back together, but don´t rush into anything give it time...cocaine addicts can go for long periods of time without using and then fall back into it.  Do not let him destroy your life, and mental health.

Kyla
5 Jun 2014

Hello. I just want to say I feel your pain. Ive been with my hubby 11yrs. Hes used cannabis all that time but he doesnt drink or go out partying so I didn't mind tbh. We have a 5yr old n im 4mth pregnant. Last year he started working nights. I discovered he had been sniffin cocaine to stat awake. He didn't tell me until heghad spent nearly 3000grand n tried to over dose on pills. This was a cry for help. He went to see a councillor n eventually moved back home (I asked him to leave because his mood swings were so wild) anyway 3 days after I discover im pregnant and 2daysbefore a hholiday in April he confessed he had spent all our money on coke. We went away with what I had saved and he promised to change.  Then on payday 900 quid worth of payday loans came out the bank I was furious and pregnant and scared. We git him on a debt management plan and I hid his bank card and he cannot apply for payday loans anymore because he entered the debt plan so would be refusedd. Then this payday he found his card n boughy coke so I changed his pin. Then 3nights ago he stole his card after discovering he couldn't withdraw he confessed he owd money to a dealer. Hes spent everything including the money he was meant to contribute to our sons birthday next week. Ive kicked him out n im cutting him off. Theres nothing more I can do. He needs to sink or swim. I love him so much but he loves drugs more. I hope you have made progress in your situation xxx

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