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my misery

Posted by taiven on 5 April 2014.

Hello im in a relationship with my partner of 4 years. We have two children aged 2 and 1 and one due in July. He has been on heroin for 10 years injecting etc. All his veins has collapsed so he uses his groin.  His now back in prison.  Im going through hell. I dont even smoke or anything. Police have told me we are such an unusual couple.  He is a
 Skilled roofer and was really successful when I met him. But now my dreams have shattered.  Please talk to me anyone

Comments

CANT TAKE NO MORE
6 Apr 2014

Have your dreams shattered because he is prison or because he has been addicted for 10 years??? Im not sure what the answer is, other than be there for your kids..He chooses to do drugs, he chose to end up in prison...we are all repsonsible....I feel for you hunni, but as a mother to an addict, family around them isn't the answer..it doesn't help,because all we is continue to enable them. They have to want to help themselves....love is never enough. Take care of yourself, and your babies xx

taiven
6 Apr 2014

My dreams was to have a happy family. But im heartbroken because of the damage heroin has done.and im embarrassed and degraded as social services are involved.  Not because of me but him and his drug using. My children mean more to me then life.  I just dont know what to do with him. Its ruining my life. His 30 now. Will he ever change u think? Can tbey sometimes xx

CANT TAKE NO MORE
6 Apr 2014

Oh hunni,I feel for you...you need to ask yourself a question...Do you want your kids to grow up with a father who is an addict???? I know its hard cause he is daddy, and you probably feel very unsure as to what the future holds. At the moment he is putting drugs before you and the children. Loving them is never enough..he has to want to get off drugs.  Hunni start thinking of you and the children..I know its hard, but you are all those kiddies have......wish I could come and give you a hug and say everything will be alright....I have a grandson, and my heart aches the way my son is...cause that little boy isnt enough....so between me and his mother and extended family, we are the ones who try and make his life fun and happy.... he dips in and out, which in my opinion is pathetic.....and ive told him as much...he will soon be going to prison, and ]I have to say im thankful...it will give us all time to breath more easier and have some peace from his vile world of drugs.... Come on hunni, stay strong, be there for your kids and let him sort his mess out ...you have nothing to feel ashamed of....hugs , and am here if you need to talk x

taiven
6 Apr 2014

Aww thank you that means alot. Is your son injecting heroin? How old is he and how long has he been using? Its one messed up drug! And your right. He is putting drugs first. But what I dont get is he hates the drug and cries alot xx

CANT TAKE NO MORE
7 Apr 2014

My sons choice of drugs is mcat,cocaine, weed, alcohol....we live in a nightmare....he hadnt taken anything for 7 days then BAM, he was that out of it over the weekend he was seen with no trousers on, came home begging for money, gave us verbal abuse when we told him to leave.......we cant save him, and yes in times of clarity he too hates what he does...unfortunately that isnt enough...From one mother to another, you need to concentrate on your kids...having social services involved , my guess is that if he were to come home, your kids would be put on the at risk register...Can I ask, has he been argumentative with you in front of the children, because if the answer is yes then they class this as domestic violence....another reason why they will be in your life, IF when he comes out of prison , you let him back in the home.....I think the kids will be counting on one parent whois looking out for their well being, and that parent is you hunni....think about it..x here for you xx

taiven
7 Apr 2014

Hi. Oh dear. What does the mother of your son think to it all? No we never argue round the kids never. He was spending more time elsr where. He wasnt living with us as I wouldnt let him live with us. If he stays clean for at least a year giving clean drug free tests I would consider it. But he was living with his grandma and will be tagged to her address when he comes out xx

CANT TAKE NO MORE
8 Apr 2014

I am the mother hunni.......hahahaa  The mother of my grandson still loves my son and wants to save him I think....but she has told him, she wont have any more of the hell....thankfully he doesn't go to ehr when he is on his rubbish, only when he is coming down..which has happened twice.....my son will be going to prison the end of the month , and I really hope that that will be the push he needs....

taiven
8 Apr 2014

Hi sorry I meant to say what does the mother of your grandson think lol. Aww is she upset his going prison?  Whats that for? My partner did burglary x

sad and tired
9 Apr 2014

put your children first, please......they deserve better.

taiven
9 Apr 2014

I am putting my children first. They will ALWAYS come first. No man on earth could compare to them. He has a drug problem.  He hates it. He loves his kids.

CANT TAKE NO MORE
12 Apr 2014

My son drove a car without insurance, was put on tag, but has breached it...court was adjourned till the end of the month......really cant wait for some peace, im tired and have nothing left..... Im so glad you are thinking about the kids first...thank god!!! Addicts in my opinion are part time parents, ive seen it  with my son.....thats a cop out, and ive told him so...Thank god he has the rest of us in his life...however my son is now back with his ex for the time being, and TRYING to make an effort..I just hope he doesnt let that little boy down more than he has already, and as his mother Im ashamed of him....but I have come to realise that drugs dont take into account the users children!!

sad and tired
12 Apr 2014

and thank god that little boy has you, luckily my son has no children, they suffer big time form parental drug abuse, so need someone stable in their lives.  I understand how you feel, I feel ashamed of my son for how he has turned out, and wonder at what point I missed something........

taiven
12 Apr 2014

Never blame yourselves as mothers.  Blame society.  Parents can do their best and all it takes is soft drugs then onto hard drugs. Or mixing with the wrong crowdas aadolescents.  Even doctors with top career's can be drug addicts! Or solicitors,  high class people.  Not saying they are high class or better then your average joe bloggs lol. You know what I mean x

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