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My mother the cocaine & painkiller addict

Posted by Sandy on 23 April 2016.

Was wondering if I could have some advice as I don't know what to :( 
I am 24 years old now but my mother has had a cocaine problem since I was 11 and still to this day let me start from the beginning 
As I child I remember my mother never being home and one of my older sisters looking after me my father had left at a young age he is of Irish traveller decent I also remember bad incidents between them when I was very young as they were heavy drinkers after he left I believe my mother turned to cocaine as she was hanging around with a man who was a heavy user so I believe she Could get it easily I only became aware when I was 14 because I had picked up a bank card and saw a pile of cocaine underneath since that day it has still continued to this. My older two half sisters moved to Ireland as I believe they just wanted out of the situation. I believe that they were Having binges with her but mum would become very jealous and horrid towards them in company unfortunately one sister devolved a drinking problem & came back to England and gave birth to a child that my mother now to This day looks after and has a guardian ship order over. My mother is very good at giving outsiders a complete different impression she came into inheritance and the addiction plummeted she bought a nice car and would drive from pub to pub with so called friends getting high this was when I was around 14/15 she was never at home and when she was would just lay in bed depressed. Just before I left home the situation was that she had made my half brother a user as they were always hanging around together bonding over cocaine he does not have a job so is always available is A career criminal so when he goes out to commit crimes she looks after children and gets cocaine in return as payment however If she and my brother are not getting along she can't get it and will take painkillers instead. She had become quite horrid before I left when I would try to confront the situation in a gentle way to help she would get aggressive and refer that it's in my head and I need mental health help as my father suffered from mental health problems which upsets me very much as I know I am fine. She is now in her 50s. I have no contact with her  but do worry sometimes something bad will happen to her I still feel guilt hurt and when I see other mothers and daughters bonding when I am out its worse. Should I try to talk to her?? Contact her??  But the situation is the same :(

Comments

Charlotte@icarus
5 May 2016

Dear Sandy

I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through and the impact your mother's addiction has had on you and the family.  If you would like to speak to someone who has had the experience that you are going through, I work for a charity called the Icarus Trust. It was set up to support families and friends of addicts i.e. people like you. Talking to someone who has had the same experiences will help you to discuss the ways you can try to heal your relationship with your mother.

We have experienced and trained volunteers called Family Friends who you could talk to if you wanted to.  It is a free service.  You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website; www.icarustrust.org

I hope that you get the help and support needed to help your relationship with your mother. 

Charlotte

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