We care, for the better.
A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.
- How do I know if they're using drugs?
- Why do they use drugs/alcohol?
- Is it my fault?
- How can I cope with their behaviour?
- Understanding the stages of addiction and recovery
- Where do I get the help I need?
- Getting support for your loved one
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My mum’s addiction was unknown to me until I was 35
Posted by Jbr on 25 April 2018.
Really interested to speak to anyone who has experienced anything similar to me. I found out 5yrs ago that my mum has been an alcoholic since I was a child. I was 35 when me and my sisters were finally told. We were only told because my mum was going through a horrific detox in hospital where she nearly died and had to learn to talk and walk again. Basically it had finally got to a point where it couldn’t be hidden from me and my sisters any more. I have read lots about children of alcoholics but have never found anyone else who, like me, didn’t even know they were a child of an alcoholic. I grew up being very aware that my mum acted strangely, seemed very unhappy, completely closed off to me emotionally, didn’t get involved in family trips etc (my dad did all of this), would sometimes say really mean things or really stupid things (which we all learnt to just laugh off). My dad was the only person who ever knew. He NEVER confided in anyone apparently until he told me and my sisters when my mum was in detox. When we were told, suddenly everything made sense! I finally had a reason for why my mum had seemed so distant all my life. I thought this revelation would bring us all closer as a family. I was completely wrong unfortunately. My dad has since made it very clear that the reason he disn’t Tell us about my mum’s addiction was not to protect me and my sisters but was to protect my mum. He still takes this view now. My mum is apparently not drinking any more but neither of my parents will accept that mum’s addiction could have had any impact on me or my sisters. It’s crazy. It is still a secret from the rest of the family and my parents want to pretend that everything is fine. It really isn’t. I really would love to speak to somebody who has experienced something similar.
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