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My Sisters nightmare

Posted by steelers on 11 June 2015.

I have a 60 YO sister who has a son that is a lifelong heroin addict. He has a rap sheet a  mile long and is terrorizing my sister who isn't well. She lives in a senior apartment and every time he gets out of jail, he goes to her for a place to stay and preys on her guilt. He is 38 YO and threatens her, takes all of her money, and then cries that he wants help. Her landlord threatens to evict her and she is going crazy with stress. I live 800 miles from her and my siblings wont get involved. They hate my nephew for all of the obvious reasons and are jaded with her because she refuses to take the advice from any of us which includes calling the police or coming clean with the landlord, etc.  Every time I call her she falls deeper into fear and depression. He will not leave, will not seek help even though he claims he wants it, and he keeps bullying her. She loves he son, but prays that he will get arrested or worse. What should she do next?

Comments

CANT TAKE NO MORE
17 Jun 2015

Oh Hunni, I feel so sad for your sister...as a mother of an AS the hardest thing to do is stop enabling. It took me 4 years before the light went on, and since then I've kicked him out, had to call the police when he went to my mothers and started kicking off and told him we were done, and would have no more contact till ge made changes...it's been hard, my son is in recovery, and has relapsed,mad a breakdown,but he is making small changes.....I'm sure wecwill still have challenges, but your sister should feel safe in her own home.....I truly believe that withdrawing from my son was the best thing I could have done for him. He has a job, sees his son and even though he still makes some poor decisions, I see a man who really wants to get well....I hope our story has helped in some way....sending love x

alexander
21 Jun 2015

As a 20 yr addict with a 68yr old mum who has seen it all,words fail to convey the embarrassment,shame,guilt and downright depression i have caused this wonderful lady.But i dont beat her or threaten her for money so my sympathy lies with the mum-you did all you could-these are his mistakes.Im glad things seem on track.

Icarus Trust
23 Jun 2015

Hi 
Maybe you or your sister would like to contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports the friends and families of addicts. It is really hard what your sister is going through and if you think it would be helpful we have experienced trained volunteers that either or both of you could talk to.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
Good luck!

Asibling
10 Jun 2016

Thank you for sharing your story.

It seems there are few services and research done considering the experience of family members, in particular siblings. That is why I am conducting a research project looking at the narratives of siblings, encouraging others like you to share their experiences. If you wish to participate and share your story or would like more information please contact me at u1422721@uel.ac.uk. Thank you.

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