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My son

Posted by Anya on 26 April 2017.

My son started smoking weed when he was 14.  I had my suspicions for a while and I had questioned him. He finally broke down and admitted everything to his Year Head at school.  From then on I did everything in my power to try to get him to stop.  I kept close tabs on him, making him ‘check in with me’ every couple of hours, never gave him cash as I’d been caught out that way before and I referred him to a drugs worker.  She eventually closed down his case as she didn’t feel she was making progress with him.  He managed to convince her that there wasn’t a serious problem.  However, the experience I was getting at home was a completely different story.  I now had a son who was demotivated and not interested in doing any of the things he used to love – BMXing, playing football and generally being active.  He was frequently missing for long periods of time, often overnight, and his behaviour was moody, withdrawn and often aggressive.  He refused to knuckle down at school even though he had been on track to achieve As and Bs in 11 GCSEs.
My son is approaching his 18th birthday now and I am devastated to report that things have gradually gotten worse over the last few years.  He left school with one GCSE and started a college course in Barbering.  He has now been excluded from college due to a violent outburst.  Now his life consists of endless parties where he freely admits that he is ‘popping pills’ alongside smoking weed.  His physical health has suffered, his reputation is shot and the saddest thing is the impact this has had on his mental health.  He has gone from being a placid, happy boy to someone that makes me feel as though I’m constantly treading on egg shells around.  He has had several violent outbursts and has smashed up my house several times.  All items of value have gradually gone missing from my home – expensive cameras, blue tooth speakers, 6 push bikes.  I have told him that he needs to live elsewhere because I can’t sit back and watch someone I love so much destroy themselves.  He has rejected all offers of professional help (and there have been many interventions) because he always tells them what they and I want to hear.  But the reality is, as he’s told me, t he doesn’t want to stop.
I miss that energetic, quick-witted, bright boy that always made me laugh.  I can only hope he’s still in there somewhere and that one day he will turn his life around and achieve his truly massive potential.

Comments

LeeC
9 May 2017

This is my exact story as the addict smoking, stealing and denial. I'm 30 now and smoked for 15 years previously. Please keep him close moving out was the worst decision I made. Whilst my relationship with my mother improved my drug addiction got worse. I never veered off weed to more serious drugs but my mental health got so bad I had a break down. My advice would be keep him close, he needs to admit his problem cut ties with suppliers and poorly chosen friends before it gets worse. My best decision was changing my mobile and cutting all ties with negative / drug influences. Good luck

Justine
19 May 2017

That is what I think my son should do , he said he would but he hasn't.

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