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my son heroin addict

Posted by kj on 9 August 2015.

my son has been on hard drugs since the age of 15, he is now almost 33, he comes from a good family he has a brother who is now 31 and he doesnt do any of it, doesnt drink or smoke even, we have given my eldest son all the help we can he has been to prison numerous times and this hasnt helped at all, the last time he came out of prison he got helped with finding a flat and we helped him with all things to get settled but he got evicted beacuse of his behaviour, he is very agressive and says the most awful things to me especially he is impossible to live with for your own sanity, he is now homeless after living with friends that are not allowed to have him there, he is homeless and asked if he can come home we did say if he went into rehab we would consider it but hes having none of it and now i have been gettingloads of abuse off him over the phone, he phoned me yesterday to say his friend found him with cut wrist that he had done himself, i dont think this is true but i am worried sick this is going to be next that he will be dead, i love my son and i have no idea what to do next? if any one has any help then that would be much appreciated i am at my witts end.

Comments

JS
17 Aug 2015

Hi, he wont commit suicide, this is emotional abuse to you. People who have true intention on committing suicide they dont tell anyone. By telling you he will do this, he wants a reaction, and as moms we are the fixers and will do anything to make our children feel better. As a trained counsellor and a mom of a cocaine user I know most of the tricks used and threatening suicide is one of them.  I worry all the time about my son and only this friday gone have I had to kick him out of my home for stealing money from me yet again and I worry that he will be cold, dirty and hungry but this is his journey as your it is your sons journey too and we cant take that for them.

JS
17 Aug 2015

Hi, he wont commit suicide, this is emotional abuse to you. People who have true intention on committing suicide they dont tell anyone. By telling you he will do this, he wants a reaction, and as moms we are the fixers and will do anything to make our children feel better. As a trained counsellor and a mom of a cocaine user I know most of the tricks used and threatening suicide is one of them.  I worry all the time about my son and only this friday gone have I had to kick him out of my home for stealing money from me yet again and I worry that he will be cold, dirty and hungry but this is his journey as your it is your sons journey too and we cant take that for them.

JS
17 Aug 2015

Hi, he wont commit suicide, this is emotional abuse to you. People who have true intention on committing suicide they dont tell anyone. By telling you he will do this, he wants a reaction, and as moms we are the fixers and will do anything to make our children feel better. As a trained counsellor and a mom of a cocaine user I know most of the tricks used and threatening suicide is one of them.  I worry all the time about my son and only this friday gone have I had to kick him out of my home for stealing money from me yet again and I worry that he will be cold, dirty and hungry but this is his journey as your it is your sons journey too and we cant take that for them.

CANT TAKE NO MORE
28 Aug 2015

Hi KJ.......addicts have yhe knack to make us parents feel terrible....the lies never end..I've heard it all...people going to kill him, he's going to kill himself, he needs money to pay dealers....ugh, it's a nightmare ...I knew nothing about drugs until my son was in court when he was 17 and it came out he had been unde the influence of cocaine and alcohol....he said it was the first tine and I believed him...he's 25 on Sunday and we have had years of this bullshit.....he was doing really well,and was in recovery for over a year...he had a great job, great life, then relapsed.that was 2 months ago....today he went back to to his drug counsellor and made an appointment with his doctor....we will see! JS is right...it's their journey, not ours...we may worry as parents but the addiction is theirs...hard for a parent to hear, because we can't save them...I support my son only when he's trying to stay clean......xxxx

Shh
3 Sep 2015

I really feel for you. My story is a similar one. My son is 21 has been taking drugs since he was 14. He has been a heroin user (amongst other drugs) for the last 4 years. It has been a roller coaster ride. He was always getting in trouble with the law. Escaped prison sentences time after time, ( some for dealing). The last year he has not got into trouble because he has no social life, he rarely goes out. He has been into an NHS detox 3 times now. I feel like I can not bear to watch him killing himself any more. I have given him an ultimatum, he gets clean or finds somewhere else to live. We have even agreed to put the money up for private rehab, so I am aware he is very fortunate! He has 1 week to decide, I know tough love is the best way for all, but I am feeling scared that I am not able to follow this through. He has no job now so will have to find some way to fund his habit. I am thinking that this anguish will end if he goes but that is prob in my dreams. I can not help feeling sorry for him!

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