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not sure what to do

Posted by unhappy on 22 April 2015.

I've been with my partner for over 10 year's. We have 2 children together and two from my first marriage ages 6,7,14,15 . My partner has been suspended from work and arrested due to court in may. The chases of losing his job are quiet high as works in health sector. He's moods are increasingly volitale. I constantly get verbally abused. I work and come home and he's drunk. He says such inappropriate things in front of the children and his manner can be very intimidating. I'm scared of him. He has been violent in the passed with drink. I'm frightening of it happening again especially because of his low mood. I would like to split up. I really not want the children around this. Any excuse for him to drink he will. He actually drank before he went to work and a staff member called the police on . I'm despairing worried upset

Comments

worriedsickwife
22 Apr 2015

here if you ever need to talk :) xx

hawaii50
30 Apr 2015

Hi, take away the children from a previous relationship and your post could have been written by me.

Being where you are I'm praying that unlike me you will find the strength to make the break from him.  I so wish I could.  I've always considered myself a strong person but for reasons I can't fathom I won't do it and to date haven't managed to find someone/organisation that could help me follow through what is a daily dream of living a relaxed "normal" life where I don't dread returning 'home' from the school run.

A life without his constant put downs, paranoia, ranting, incessant negativity, the list is endless.

I know I'm doing my kids a disservice staying but can't seem to find the willpower to take them from their Dad and help them through the inevitable heartache.  Especially as it's not like you're dealing with a rational human being who you can arrange contact with the kids with.

Anyway I hope my post hasn't in any way dissuaded you and if you ever need someone to chat to who's in the same boat, please contact me :-) xx

hawaii50
30 Apr 2015

Hi, take away the children from a previous relationship and your post could have been written by me.

Being where you are I'm praying that unlike me you will find the strength to make the break from him.  I so wish I could.  I've always considered myself a strong person but for reasons I can't fathom I won't do it and to date haven't managed to find someone/organisation that could help me follow through what is a daily dream of living a relaxed "normal" life where I don't dread returning 'home' from the school run.

A life without his constant put downs, paranoia, ranting, incessant negativity, the list is endless.

I know I'm doing my kids a disservice staying but can't seem to find the willpower to take them from their Dad and help them through the inevitable heartache.  Especially as it's not like you're dealing with a rational human being who you can arrange contact with the kids with.

Anyway I hope my post hasn't in any way dissuaded you and if you ever need someone to chat to who's in the same boat, please contact me :-) xx

Icarus Trust
11 May 2015

Hi 
If you would like to talk to people who would understand what you are going through and may be able to help you please contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports people who are affected by their loved ones addictions. We could put you in touch with one of our 'Family Friends', trained volunteers who have loads of experience of the kind of thing that you are going through.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
Good luck!

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