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A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.

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Posted by lily1 on 11 March 2014.

I'm not sure where to turn anymore, my thirty year old daughter came back to live with me three years ago as she was pregnant and a heavy drug user, I wanted to give her and the baby a chance of a good life, but it had all backfired on me as she still uses , she lies and is very good at manipulating any situation, my husband and I have had enough, we just want our lives back, but I'm torn as I love my grandchild so much that I can't put her out , I would worry so much about her, as I know my daughter would just go back to her old lifestyle can anyone give me some positive advice.xxxxcx


11 Mar 2014

I think your right worrying about your grandchild....Is she a good mother??? Does she put the little one first??? Im sure you worry about the impact its having on your grandchild! Stay strong for that little if you need to talk x

12 Mar 2014

Thanks for responding ctno, I can easily say my daughter is a great mother, and I know she loves her daughter, but even getting help and counciling she continues to use she tries to hide it but I know her too well now and I constantly check her room and handbags, and always find evidence of her using I have threatened to put her out and keep her child , and she will say she's trying but how long do we keep going like this, I just can't see a light at the end of a long tunnel.xx

12 Mar 2014

Oh dear, you sound like most of us..the realisation that we are not enough is like a kick in the stomach....Have you a group near you where you can talk to others???? Just someone else listening gives you strength...My son has a child and I hate to say this but the alcohol and drugs come first..he would rather spend his money on himself than his its taken me alot to write that, but I cannot lie anymore....both my grandchilds parents are not fit to give a loving home and social services are involved...As grandparents we have gone through fostering so IF anything else comes to light he will come to deserve to have their parents, but if it hinders their emotional balance, they way they view their family life, then the only looser here is the child... It sounds to me like she is simply going through the motions to keep you all quiet...something addicts do very well....Here if you need me luv ....

13 Mar 2014

Hi again ctnm. Yes you ate right when you said my daughter is just going through the motions to keep us quiet, it is something I've known for a while, but it is just easier to believe her than have another confrontation, I'm so sick of it, we don't have social services involved now, but that is only because she is living with us, if she wasn't then I would do as you have done and make sure my granddaughter stayed with us, I must thank you for your support, it is good to  talk to someone who knows what its like,I'm here for you too should you want to off load!!! X

14 Mar 2014

Hey Lily ...hope your days have been better....My son has actually seen a solicitor this week regarding his child....He will no doubt be going to prison in the next few weeks for breach of tag, and I wonder if this could be the kick he needs..He doesnt drink or do his "recreational" (dont laugh, his explanation not mine) drugs daily, only weekends or when he cant cope......Ive told him I wont be visiting him. because I didnt give birth to him to visit him in a prison.....make no bones about it though, the fact he does it  regularly makes him an addict... I havent seen my grand child for over a month now, because his mother is a complete psycho...its heart breaking, but do yuo know what..the more I talk about the situation and realise its his choice the better I cope....Lily stay strong hunni, because that little one needs you........confrontations only happen because they know what we say is right...we are confirming they have a problem.....ive learned to try and keep it calm, and choose my moments.....hard and at times I want to scream at him.....the pressure you are putting yourself and husband under must be immense...feel for you luv if you need me x

15 Mar 2014

Thanks ctnm, how bad it must be too not see your grandchild, I suspect the mother know it hurts you and just wants too use your granchildas a weapon against you, how selfish, but you will know this I'm sure. I like you am finding that because I've been talking to others on this blog, that I too can cope better, its amazing but it really does help to talk too others, I'm not saying that it sorts anything out at home, but feel a bit different about things now, maybe I'm just kidding myself, but hey who knows,. Let me know how things go with your son, its not good to think of them in prison, hopefully it may make him think!!!! Good to talk too you.xx

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