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Sad

Posted by Sad on 18 May 2016.

My son and his wife are heroin addicts, they have a 18 year old daughter who was six when the heroin started but previously they dabble in all sorts of drugs! They live quite a distance from us so my main contact is by phone, or I should say my bank!! Because that is the only time I hear from him. But I have always had regular contact. And always had our lovely granddaughter regularly. She lives in our area now with my youngest son and his two daughters. She has an apprentiship and is doing well. She left home over a year ago because she began to realise that their lives were getting out of control. Because we have always been a constant in her life she asked if she could move in with us. And although I didn't hesitate to say yes. I didn't want her to not have a relationship with her parents. I am after all a mother and having my heart broken when I realised my son and his wife were heroin addicts. I felt I lost my son then.I didn't want to cause them the pain of their daughter never seeing them. So after the initial upset they accepted the situation and it gave them a kick up the backside and made them look at how their lives were effecting their daughter. So they had made efforts to stop the trail of people like them selves to stop calling they cleaned themselves up but cut their habit down enough to get by! Their daughter now goes home every week end to see them and her friends who she stays with one night of the week end. She has told us she wants to get back to her own area but is looking to move in with a girl friend. Obviously that is a concern for us as she will be very close to them and they will bleed her of her wages which being an apprentice isent a lot. But it's her life and we would never close the door on her. 
But back to my son, who is the worry of my life. He has psoriatic arthritis, he is smothered in psoriasis. And his biggest problem apart from his addiction he has two ulcerated legs that are huge, constantly on antibiotic's and pain relief from doctors of Zoromorph!! My heart breaks because I know the pain of the Arthritis as I have the same condition and other arthritis problems. But his legs are dreadful!! I had two very disturbing text from him saying he is fed up with his life and that the stress and worry he has caused those that care about him that he wants to end it all! He said his leg pain is constant he can't bare to look at himself in the mirror because the psoriasis is so bad. The smell from his legs is stinking their home out. I phoned him and he is in a really bad way. He went to the ulcer clinic on Tueday and the nurse spoke to him and is getting him to see the doctor after his bandage change on Friday. In between all this I have been a constant money machine for him, that is putting so much pressure on me and my husband. I have had spells where I refuse him money and I buy food for them and get it delivered. But it's never enough, and I gradually weaken and then it's money after money. His situation seems impossible with such poor health how can he possibly go through detox like this as the meds are the drugs he's addicted to. I am so low all I do is cry and he's in my head constantly. I think I have have been told so many stories and lies.

Comments

Icarus Trust
18 May 2016

I'm so sad to read your story. So many family members are affected by an addicts behavior. If you felt that it would help to talk I recommend getting in touch with The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports the friends and families of addicts, people like yourself and have experienced trained volunteers called family friends who you could talk with. It might help you to deal with all the conflicting feelings you have about your son and see a way ahead.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
Take care and good luck!

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