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Posted by Elli on 19 November 2016.

My daughter is 31.  She has been having terrible problems with alcohol for about 6 or 7 years.  As time goes on she just gets worse and worse.  Of course her drinking means that she ends up in the company of some pretty awful people.  Drinkers of course.   These men that she finds only seem to make her life so much worse.  She then drinks more to get away from her terrible life and so it goes on.  We have tried for years to give her as much support as we can.   Financially she has depended on us for years now.  
Trying to believe that if we let her hit 'rock bottom' she would finally quit drinking.   All that happened was that she became really ill and had to be taken to hospital.  She isn't the type of alcoholic who can carry on some kind of life.  When she drinks, that is all she does.  She stays in her flat and drinks and smokes all night and all day until she physicality cannot cope.  Then she has a few days off it, then it all starts again.  

She has a good education, is good looking, and when she isn't drunk she is good company.  It is tearing our family apart to see her throw her life away like this.  As her mother I seem to be living her life too.  If she has a good day - then I have a good day,  

I think she will end up,, by accident, killing herself.  It is so, so sad.  She had tried AA.  That took us years of pleading with her to attend some meetings.  They seemed to help a little bit but she has stopped going.  I think she realises that there are people there just like her who have managed to quit and somehow she doesn't seem  to want to be part of that.  She just  keeps making up excuses or lies about why she won't go back.

She has managed to get through interviews and even managed to go to work.  That lasts sometimes only for a few days.  Then she starts drinking and lets everyone down again.  

I know I can't make her stop, I have tried.  I realise from reading other peoples posts that I really need to get myself some help,   I have paid 10s of thousands to get her help and to pay for her life and yet, here I am, depressed and so stressed about something that I am failing to fix.  As a mother that is so painful.  Alcohol addiction is a terrible thing.  It robs people of their lives really.  It often feels to me that I am watching her, very slowly, killing herself.  Taking me with her too.  After I finish writing this I am going to book my self an appointment with a good therapist and try to find perhaps an AA meeting.  I have to do something .

Comments

Icarus Trust
28 Nov 2016

Hi Elli
Thank you for posting. I can only imagine how painful it is for you to watch what's happening to your daughter. That's so hard and you are right to say that it is important for you to get some help for yourself.

 I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust that has been set up to support those who are having to deal with the impact of a loved one's addiction. If you contact us we can put you in touch with one of our 'Family Friends'. These are our experienced trained volunteers who would understand what you are living through. Talking to one of them might help you to find a way ahead and they can signpost you to other services that are available. This is a free service.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
I hope that you can get some help for yourself and wish you all the best.

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