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Posted by HEARTBROKEN MUM on 27 January 2014.

My son IS 23 years old, and smokes weed I am not sure if he uses anything else, I have a daughter of 21 and a son of 18 also. He has been in a relationship for 8 years with the same girl who is lovely . He was in trouble at school quite alot , at the time we used to fall out as I would be telling him to behave etc etc, I have been married to his Dad for 25 years , who in the past has been a bit of a hot head with alcohol in him and Adam has witnessed this, . Adam hasnt lived at home for 2 years due to a major row over him being stoned , and was told no way was he allowed to come in like that , if he wanted to do it then that was his choice as an adult and nothing I can do about it, thing are much calmer in our house now , yet he still turns up stoned at least once twice a week having the munchies, and much to my daughters upset I feed him rather than turn him away as I know he would never come back again. All his issues seem to be with me , yet I feel as if I have been the one to care for him , His Dad is so laid back without a drink and really has never ever told his kids off just left it all to me, so I am constantly the baddie. On xmas day he told his gfriend he was going pub for an hour and then would meet her at ours for dinner , he turned up stoned ate dinner fell asleep and then went back out on weed with his pals, we were both heartbroken, he then made all the usual promises he would stop etc etc after the new year, he has been to ours again after xmas twice stoned .On saturday I held a party in a club for our daughters 21st it was a fab night ,  A few people inc my son  and his gfriend came back to ours , my other two went  out with there partners . All was good , my son was getting louder and louder though and we all kept saying sshh at 5ft 9 and a muscular 17 stone he can be scary, he hant been on the weed I dont think or anything else but not 100%. Anyway next thing is our neighbours son who is 18 and our son was good friends with when little just walked into our house and basically told our son shut up, our son replied" go smoke a spliff I have been at many parties with you why you been foaming at the mouth and looked after you, this is my sisters party and it dont happen ever ie house parties at ours, anyway the lads dad came in and took his son away half apologising the dad not the son. Our son seemed to get louder then , next thing his sister come home and basically told him to button it and what you talking like a gangster for , well all hell let lose he started trashing the house squaring up to everyone including me and totally a mad man, knocking next door confronting them etc etc police were called by someone and It just got worse , he eventually calmed down and fell asleep upright in his brothers bedroom. I did not go to bed I was heartbroken along with my daughter who hates him now , I thought he would waken and apologize but he has nort shoewn any remorse at all , and infact left the house and went out with his mates on the weed and snapchatted his sister a message "smoking this hangover away ", watching him with drink in him is like watching my hubby although my hubby has calmed down alot as got older , but I think the damage is done , my two younger kids say he is a joke we have both worked hard to bring them up and teach them right from wrong , and they have seen what he has seen with there dad , but dont use it as a weapon against me , I actually feel like he hates me everyone says it is his dad who should take the blame not me , but because I am the tough one on them all I do , any advice input anything would be greatly appreciated I am at he end of my tether and heartbroken , I have not gone into work today it is affecting everything


28 Jan 2014

I am sorry to hear your story, I have been through the same thing.

Take care


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