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suicide watch

Posted by worriedsickwife on 18 April 2015.

I've made the hardest decision ever and left my husband and the father of my child. after 8 long years together I can no longer stay. my little boy is seeing the effect alcohol is having on his dad, the arguments, the emotional abuse, the accusations, the loss of bowel control as well as the need/want to spend as little time with the kids and me as possible and as much as possible in the pub or passed out in bed. 
now I've decided to leave, he is threatening suicide to the kids and missing work. I'm worried for his job (that he's just holding down) but more importantly for his life. whilst I cant go back, how do I protect him and the kids from this downward spiral. I feel stuck and don't know where to turn. sorry for the ramble but once I started typing, I couldn't stop. :(

Comments

Icarus Trust
20 Apr 2015

Hi,
I'm so sorry that you are in a really hard place at the moment. This must be really difficult for you but you have made a brave decision and there is help available for you if you would like to talk to someone. I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust which supports the families and friends of addicts. Our trained volunteers have lots of experience of talking with people who are experiencing what you are going through. If you contact us we could put you in touch with one of our 'Family Friends' who you could talk to  which might help you to sort out how you are feeling and how to go forward. It is a free service so I hope you might give it a try.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
Good luck with everything.

unhappy
22 Apr 2015

Well done for leaving. I wish I was strong enough. My partner has been suspended from work for being under the influence and he's also facing court in may. I've four children.. I admire your bravery Don't go back. . I've tried to split up numerous times from my partner he threatened suicide. He needs professional help my Other half . I'm scared hurt abused verbally but I'm helpless to no wot to do.  Try not get a councillor for husband offer for u to be friend but I no there's only so much we can . Do. Thinking of u

worriedsickwife
22 Apr 2015

hi Unhappy, I too have been in that situation suspended for being over the influence then allowed back with the condition of a breath test each morning- in fact work sent a Private Investigator to check up on him and followed me around taking photos (as I told them I was ill and he had to stay home and look after me) 
I completely empathise with you and know how hard it can be. sometimes we have to be bold to make life better for our children, yes im being threatened with the house, and yes he's cleared our bank account but you know what- I'm happier already without him around! 
if you decide to do it all I can say is stick with the decision as ive gone back too many times to recall but stuck with it this time and its slowly getting easier for him as he has a good circle of friends. I did speak to Drinkline and poured my heart out to them down the phone- just to talk can make things a little easier too.

if you're that unhappy and putting up with the verbal abuse etc- especially in front of the kids.... my advice would be to go for it- for their sake. 
Stay Strong x :(

unhappy
22 Apr 2015

Thank you for you words of wisdom. It's nice that you've spent the time to Reply. I've kept things to myself not told anyone. Nice to no other people have survived this crap.  Really thank you big support x

hawaii50
30 Apr 2015

Well done at your bravery for making the decision and sticking with it.

Like other postings, I too returned and have never regretted anything so much.  While you will still feel some responsibility for his welfare (they are good at making us feel guilty for their failings) as someone said to me, he is an adult and only he is responsible for himself and his actions so remain strong.

Wish I had your willpower :-) xx

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