mmmmmmmmmmlli mmmmmmmmmmlli mmmmmmmmmmlli mmmmmmmmmmlli

for
families

We care, for the better.

A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.

sign in

Sign in to make comments and contribute your own stories. Or click here to register if you've never used the blog before.

Sign In

Want to find a support group? Enter your postcode or town below to find a support group near you.

Find help

Share Your Story

Support

Posted by Rosie82 on 12 October 2014.

I have never written on a blog before but I don't know anyone who has been through a situation like mine. I'm 32 and I thought I had met the man of my dreams, I found out into the relationship that he was a previous herion addict but had been clean for 7 years. Maybe I was very nieave  to think that he would never touch that shit ever again, I haven't really been involved in drugs and just thought that he was over that part of his life. Last week he started acting strange for a number of days, when I questioned him about what was going on he just got quite nasty, he didn't come home from work on Sunday, I had a call at 8.45 to tell me he had overdosed and was in hospital, that journey was the worst of my life, u had no idea what I was walking into, and when I did, I won't forget how I saw him, I've had to end the relationship and he's gone to live with his dad, he overdosed again on Tuesday morning, I feel like my world has fallen apart and everytime the phone goes I dread it. I love him with all my heart but I can't live in fear forever, I'm just finding all this so hard to deal with, I feel like it's a dream, like it's someone else's nightmare

Comments

Rosie82
12 Oct 2014

There is a lot more to this and have supported him through other drug taking, I have tried but looking bank on situations I think this has been going on for a while, everything seems to be falling into place, but it's just constant lies and dishonesty, I just don't know where to turn

CANT TAKE NO MORE
13 Oct 2014

Hey Rosie, you must feel so devastated, but you have done the right thing for now.....being around an addict is extremely hard, and their addiction is all that is important to them. He has got clean once so can do it again, but it's his fight! Please source out support groups for you....that was my lifeline, and coming on here..it made me stronger, and more able to cope.knowledge as they say is power...hugs Hunni xxxxxxxx

Rosie82
13 Oct 2014

I am absolutely devastated, he was my world, i haven't been able to go back home as the thought of being there without him tears me apart, he is the best person I've ever met when 'straight'. I just cannot understand why.. Why after so long go back to it, knowing that it would be the end for us. I thought we were happy, I just cannot get my head around it, and cannot stop worrying about him, what he's doing and where he is, is he safe, so much going on in my mind but he wouldn't tell me the truth if u were in daily contact with him which I was last week, he was still lying. Drugs ruin so many lives x

Icarus_Trust
14 Oct 2014

Hi Rosie,

Yes they do, drugs and addictions are horrific things which effect more than just the addict - their families and the ones closest to them.  There are support networks out there and you can speak to people who have been in similar situations to help you.  They are called Family Friends, who have been there so do know more-or-less how you feel.  You can contact them by dropping an email to info@icarustrust.org or you can go the website www.icarustrust.org.  I really hope he manages to sort himself out for you, like he did before.  As "CANT TAKE NO MORE" said, it is his fight.

All the best.

Rosie82
14 Oct 2014

Thank you, I still can't get my head around it so I do need to seek done kind of help I think, although today I am feeling angry at the moment, I'm worrying myself sick every minute of the days and it's clear he isn't thinking about me one bit, I honestly thought that he loved me so much but now I think that if he thought anything of me he would have sought help by now after I was on my hands and knees begging him to get help last week. I may be sounding like a cow now but I can't understand it, I can't understand drugs and why people would want to ruin their lives and the lives of everyone else around them who only want the best for them and love them with all their hearts

Rosie82
14 Oct 2014

So the last contact I had with my partner was Friday night, I have been in contact with his family to see how he is, today apparently was the day he was going to get help, why wait until today anyway I have no idea. Instead of a positive phone all, I had yet another heart wrenching call to say he had overdosed yet again, the 3rd time in 8 days. He is now back in hospital. I can't take much more

CANT TAKE NO MORE
15 Oct 2014

Oh Rosie, my heart breaks for you....I can see this from his parents point of view...I told his then GF to stay away because it would drag her down..they have a son to think about...but, whilst staying away, she told him she would support him IF he was serious about getting clean.we were in constant contact...it took my son to get to his lowest point to realise his life was shit.....he is still in Recovery and I can see every day is a struggle..he sourced help, got himself a job and is really trying..he had had 2 relapses , the last one where he too ended up in hospital...on his wristband it said unknown...that broke my heart...but I didn't go and get him..made him make his own way home, where as a family we had a meeting , he got straight back on the phone to his counsellor, and thankfully his work have been amazing...his supervisor is an ex addict who has taken him under his wing, and that has also been a tremendous support for him.....the only thing I can say is it really is his call....as hard as it is to want to save them, we can't...they have to want to save themselves..hugs my darling....and get some support, please! X

Meg
21 Oct 2014

although it seems your relationship was a lot more serious than mine was - the story is exactly the same..my boyfriend at the time was so honest about his past drug use I just presumed that even if the drug use did start again he'd be comfortable enough to tell me but that was far from the case. I didn't include his suicide attempts in my blog as I feel that was more to do with his depression but someone once told me that if somebody truly wants to take their own life, they will, somebody who 'commits suicide' and survives, doesn't really want to die, they want help. It's just so hard to find that balance between looking after him and remembering to take care of yourself too because it's almost impossible to get the balance right - I know things will get better for you, and I hope you're looking after yourself x

Rosie82
22 Oct 2014

It is so hard, I have been to see a family support officer today, and some things she said, I'm wondering how long this has actually been going on for, there have been lots of occasions and things within the home that I have thought has been strange and I'm wondering now whether the pieces are coming together, I'll never know the truth as he won't tell me. I feel as though he has been living a double life and wonder whether what we had was real. I feel sick to think he still hasn't got help and worry constantly, although there is nothing I can do, I understand he has to seek help and take those next steps, I just hope and prey to god that he does. Thank you all for your support xx

tinanortheast
2 Nov 2014

you know its his nightmare..not yours.....
he did do well...
its a slip.. if he can get through this chapter of his life.. it would be nice to have someone to support him.. but you are to close to him....
tinanortheast

You must be signed in to comment. To sign in, use the form to the right, or click here to register if you've never used the blog before.

Submit