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The fear never goes away

Posted by bevyus on 30 April 2015.

My daughter was a Heroin addict, I say was, she has been clean for 7 years. Today I realized I hadn't got over it everyday I wake up wondering if something will happen to make her use again, some upset, stress or just because she wants to.

For 8 years it was constant recovery, relapses, court, drug programs, we lived in the USA after her being deported back to England for a unrelated offense we are all here. I'm always checking her eyes, I know better than to check her arms.  I've seen her die 3 times, put on life support. It was my choice to come back to England with her, sometimes I wonder if I do resent that a bit.  Her rehab team in the states gave me an emergency plan of action which thankfully I have never had to use.

I came here because I looked for a local support group, nearest is 18 miles away and sometimes just writing it down and reading other people that are going through the same as we did whilst she was a user makes you feel not so alone.

Comments

Icarus Trust
11 May 2015

Hi
Its great that your daughter has been clean for so long. You must have been an amazing support for her. But it sounds like you could really use some support for yourself. I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust. We offer support to people like yourself who have been affected by another's addiction. Our trained volunteers called 'family Friends' are very experienced and if you contact us we would put you in touch with one of them. Talking your situation through with someone who understands might be helpful for you. They would also be able to signpost you to other help that is available. 
Please contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org 
This is a free service and I really hope that it might help you.

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