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ticking time bomb

Posted by bluexxx on 5 May 2014.

I'm walking on eggshells too scared to step on the cracks, 
I'm constantly on edge always watching my back, 
Surrounded by fears of another drunken attack 
I wonder I seek to find some peace 
But nothing gets better the pain never cease 
I pray I wish I dream and I cry 
But my home is a warzone I get scared at night.
I hear the ticking inside of his head
I curl up like a baby inside of my bed
Another night of drunken fights is something I dread
I hear bottles clinking smoke feels the air 
Inside im dying as i cry out whos there,
I hear him banging clashing his fists
The smell makes me sick 
I breath quitely trying not to make a sound
I crumbling as his footsteps hit the ground,
I pray to god to take me to the skies above
Please dont leave me here with my brother who knows nothing of love, the devil in the flesh keeps showing up, I have had enough. 
I stay strong for my parents I do all this for you
But inside I'm am pleading please love me too 
Stealing and pleading and secretly bleeding you dry
Losing and hiding and watching us cry
Sometimes I wish if only I'd die
Waking up everyday with hope in my heart
That he might just change 
But I find him with vomit and sweating again
Face down on the floor in his bedroom 
Chocking and inhaling the suffocating fumes
The horror inside I feel when I see 
My brother is slowly dying in front of me
As I pick him up and he comes round 
My good old heart is smashed to the ground 
Get out get out get out of my room 
You said as I tried to help you
I heard you smash against the wall 
You yelled as you blamed us for it all
The cans the shits the smell spills in 
Your screaming I'm screaming the anger within
I'm a shell a scared little girl all because of you 
I was trying to save you brother from yourself but you have killed you. 
You've killed us too, your poising our love 
Our home our hearts 
And all this horror is tearing us apart
You love the bottle more then us 
Our love for you is not enough 
If you had your way dear brother 
You'd live alone 
But where too scared to leave u on your own 
Your nothing but skin and bones
You don't wash now you don't even eat 
There is nothing left except the ciggerets u eat. 
Your like a corpse rotting underneath
If you leave you will die buT if u stay we can try 
But I'm afraid things will not change if I stay 
I love you dear brother but it hurts me this way 
You treat me like a withdrawal symptom 
You treat me like a dog 
You treat me like i am nothing but I've done nothing wrong. I am sick of being trapped like a bird without a song.
Release me from this hell 
I beg you anyone 
I can't do this anymore I am done 
You won 
You won brother x

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