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A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.

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time for change

Posted by sk on 29 July 2014.

Hi all just joined not quite sure where to start.

My partner of 18yrs has been battling drugs for a long time (herion to be precise for a good 15yrs). I have given him everything I can including two children one 7yrs and the other 8 months. Today he has just come out of two weeks rehab and I am petrified that he wil relapse already. I have been looking after our two children which has been difficult in itselfs I dont want to be a single parent my daughter adores her daddy and has been told hes working away not only for her benefit but for my own sanity. My partner moved out of the family home last year when I found out he was using again this drug has ruined my life and I am not even the one using it he gets all the highs and I just get left with the carnage of it all, I am trapped 18yrs off my life wasted on someone that loves a substance more then me (of course he says its not like that but to me it is).I wish it was something simple like another woman at least I can compare myself to something other then a powder daft I know but true. I often think my daughter thinks of me as the bad guy. I am the one who looks after her makes sure shes fed, clothed has a roof over her head loves her n her baby brother unconditionally and still I think she will grow up to hate me, she thinks the sun shines out of her dads backside because shes too young to be told the truth and I am not even sure I want her ever to know the truth. Why do I protect him I do not know he does'nt protect me (even though he claims to). I look at other couples in the school yard for example happy laughing and joking with each other and find myself jealous over their normal healthy relationship and all I can think is why me. I feel even worse because I chose him for my children they did'nt ask for him to be their daddy. Anyway I am praying things will change from today if not the consequences are he loses everything, me the kids and his home I cannot waste anymore time on this man I already feel like damaged goods to anyone else. I cannot have this anymore its time for change whether that be with him or without him time to be strong grow a pair n strap em on. 

Sorry for mega rant but I have trolled the internet for help for families of addicts and this is probably the first one I have found and been able to relate to others

Comments

derekb
3 Aug 2014

The Icarus Trust is a charity formed to help people just like you. We are working with Adfam to help families affected bŷ addiction. We have access to many sources of help and support and have a team of 'Family Friends' who can help you find the very best way forward. Send an email in confidence to help@icarustrust.org and one of our  trained Friends will be in touch. Sharing your story with a Family Friend could well give you a whole new view on your situation.

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