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vagabond, sedated, troubled.

Posted by hope76 on 23 February 2015.

I'm 18 years old, i'll be turning 19 in august.
I am a drug addict. I've been doing crystal meth for a few years now and i'm scared that i won't be able to stay clean for good. I always say i'm going to stop and i do for a few days but thats only becuase i end up broke. But once i get enough money to buy more i relapse. Anything to just be sedated. My family has caught me a few times and if i get caught one more time they'll kick me out. I wish i could stop for good but it's all i think about every minute of every day. It makes me feel like i'm not useless. It's weird but when i do i, i do so much i accomplish so many things and when im sober im a burdon on people.i've been through so much already, loosing my father, being abonded by my abusive mother, i feel like this is all i have left. My mother was a drug and acohol abuser aswell. So i don't want to end up like her. I know i still have family who cares but the drugs consume me. I need more but i just want to do the right thing and stop.

Comments

Icarus Trust
24 Feb 2015

Hi,
It sounds like you've had a lot to deal with in your life and this has been hard for you. Have you asked anyone for help with your addiction - your GP or anyone else? 
I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust and if you would like to talk in confidence with one of our trained volunteers please contact us. You would be put in touch with one of our 'Family Friends' who would  help you in where to go for help. This is a free service.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
Good luck. I really hope that you can get some help.

oscar-g
6 Mar 2015

First of all can I say you are not useless, it's obvious you have been hurt badly in the past and are burying your true feelings. How your mother was/is wasn't your fault, I too have a son who lost his father at a young age and has found it hard to come to terms with. He is so full of anger, pain and frustration. He is now having counselling on a one to one basis which is helping him. Go and have a chat with your doctor who can put you in touch with numerous people who can help. I really feel for you as your so young to carry such a burden, please don't give up and remember  you are not responsible for other peoples actions. Please focus on the future and the good things in life as i'm sure with help you will succeed

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