We care, for the better.
A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.
- How do I know if they're using drugs?
- Why do they use drugs/alcohol?
- Is it my fault?
- How can I cope with their behaviour?
- Understanding the stages of addiction and recovery
- Where do I get the help I need?
- Getting support for your loved one
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What can I do?
Posted by Irishgirl on 12 August 2016.
Hi everyone, this is a totally new situation for me and I am struggling to deal with it. I have been with my partner for 8 and a half years and he hadn't had a drink in 9 and a half years up until May when he quit his job as it was becoming very stressful and his manager was treating him like crap. I had no idea that he was drinking again until I arrived home from an evening out with my friends and he was passed out on the couch with a bottle of alcohol beside him two nights ago. Apparently he has been drinking on about 8 or 10 occasions since May and I had absolutely no idea. I sometimes work night shifts so it would have been quiet easy for him to hide it from me but I feel so stupid not realising he was drinking again. I have no idea what to do, I wasn't in a relationship with him when he was drinking before but his parents and friends have told me a little about how he used to be. As I am the only one who knows he has started drinking again I have no one to talk to about how he used to behave, etc when he used to drink and I am considering talking to one of his friends about what it was like so that I can get a better picture of what I might experience should he keep drinking. I don't know whether to tell his parents as we now live here in the UK having moved over from Ireland for work six years ago. I am worried his parents may want him to return home and he has got another job which he loves over here and I do not want to move back as I am settled in my job etc. However am I selfish for wanting to stay here and not wanting to tell his parents? I know he used to drink a lot and ended up in rehab for a month which his parents paid for. He also went to AA meetings for a year. He thinks he can do this without going back to meetings but I am not willing to accept this as I cannot help him on my own. I love him more than anything but I am so angry with him for doing this. I get that its an addiction but I just can't past the anger because I see it as I can't trust him now and that he has flushed over 8 years of trust down the drain. Trust was one thing that we had and we trusted each other 100% but now I'm going to question whether he's drinking every time I'm not with him. Any advice on how best to deal with this would be greatly appreciated.
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