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What do I do

Posted by Hadenough! on 1 June 2014.

My son is 21 and been a canabis user since the age of 12. Now he says hes a crack user I've had heartbreak after heartbreak smashed up house time and time again police called windows smashed. 5 years ago I met my husband things calmed for a year or so but he was still using then we moved home my son started smoking more dope all day every day in the house we asked begged him to stop and in the end threw him out as he was forever borrowing money getting wongs loans.  he refuses to work refuses to sign on even now I'm abroad for a year and he contacts at least 3 times a day demanding money we have no savings left he expects to be given 100 a day tells me he's not doing drugs and is working but is being convicted from his council flat he says for noise but more than likely not paying rent.  He owes 1600 for his electric 960 for his water we are forever paying his dealers off. I'm guessing in the past 2 years he's cost us about 15k and he's still in debt.   Every time I say no I can't give him money he smashes his flat up then I end up paying to replace everything cos I don't want him to suffer without.  It's effecting my relationship with my husband.  My son is now contacting his grandparents who are old and I'll demanding money daily. I'm constantly in tears what can I do

Comments

CANT TAKE NO MORE
1 Jun 2014

STOP ENABLING HIM......If he is in a flat im guessing he is an adult. Start taking control back and do the best thing you can for your son...let him get on with it and every time he come rounds causing trouble call the police......I know it sound harsh, but until you do something drastic and let him know you wont put up with it, then this will escalate, and get worse.....I know its hard.. I would also tell your parents not to answer the phone to him or the door...he is int he throws of addiction, and the son you once knew has all but gone....DONT BE PART OF HIS ADDICTION......Hugs to you xxxx

Hadenough!
3 Jun 2014

Thank you for your advice I'm trying my best but just can't seem to stick to my guns I always crumble and give in please God give me strength to cope I'm st my wits end can't sleep and all I do is worry and cry xxx

CANT TAKE NO MORE
3 Jun 2014

Afternoon Hadenough, Its hard as a parent, but what you have to think is by enabling him you are adding to his problem...For me that was the hardest thing to learn. Every time you pull out your purse, your sending him the message its ok for him to do what he is doing...He wont like it, he will hate you for it, but he wont stop loving you....ONLY he can break his addiction....Keep trying hunny, and soon he WILL get it!!! sending hugs xxx

sad and tired
4 Jun 2014

please listen, I am only just getting this message.....I have reached a point of my son almost threatening me because his phone has been disconnected and I wont pay to have it reconnected.  What ever he needs that phone for it sure makes him desperate.  xx we all need to stay strong

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