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What to do for the best

Posted by helloworld on 26 June 2016.

Hello all,

About a month ago I found out that my older brother (41) is a cocaine addict. He has been taking cocaine for over 15 years, unbeknownst to our family. Of course, there were occasions now when looking back it should have been obvious, but for whatever reason - be it naivety or unwillingness to notice - I didn't put two-and-two together.

His long-term partner left him two Christmases ago, taking their six-year-old with her and he seemed to the outside world to spiral into a depression. He wouldn't get out of bed, he lost weight - all things you could attribute to heartache - but it turns out she just couldn't let her son grow up in a drug-filled environment when she was afraid of losing the roof from over their son's head as my brother spent more and more money on his addiction.

My Mum has been recently diagnosed with cancer, and it's terminal, and my Dad, whilst he knows about the drug addiction has said he's too stressed to deal with my brother. This leaves me, and my older sister, to deal with the situation (but as far as I'm aware, she doesn't know about his addiction). 

Today, I found out even worse news. My niece's partner had taken cocaine with my brother, and after one hit he has become addicted too. This quickly escalated into crack. They have a young child - my niece could finally take no more and brought the last of her money into my Mum's house to look after it so he didn't use it on crack.

When my parents confronted my brother today he brought my niece into their home to deny that he had ever done cocaine with her partner. I don't believe it for a second of course, but they are taking my brother's side over my niece out of loyalty. 

I really am at my wits end, I don't know what to do and how to proceed for the best. My brother has already said to me he can't/won't get help for his addiction, but I am finding it hard to watch him throw his life away, particularly when my Mum would give anything to see her family happy in her last year or so on Earth.

Comments

Icarus Trust
6 Jul 2016

Hi,
I'm sorry you are having to deal with so many really difficult issues.  
Please get in touch with The Icarus Trust as it sounds like you could really do with someone to talk to and get some support with all you are having to deal with. 
We are a charity that helps the family and friends of addicts. One of the free services we offer is called 'Family Friends' which are our trained and experienced volunteers. You could be put in touch with one of them and may find talking will help you to find a way ahead. 
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org
I hope that you can get some help. Good luck!

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