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whats happened to my beautiful son ?

Posted by witsend on 24 September 2011.

My 21 year old so is a alcoholic with cocaine habit,he first started using drugs at about 10 years old.When i found out i would ground him stop his pocket money,then he began stealing from the family home and even selling his own clothes at school.As the years have gone on he has become worse,he did hold down a job for 4 years and recently lost that due to stealing a car from work taking it on a joy ride,stealing petrol and crashing it.He  was arrested and is due in court he is hoping to go to prison,i say hoping because for months he says he cant cope his head is a mess and he wants to escape he actually wants to go to prison ! he drinks daily and has done so for about 5 years,he is unrecognisable,he has lost weight,very pale,full of spots and in drug debt.people have commented that he looks like a heroin user and i even thought that he was  because he has started associating with heroin users.I recently paid out over £300 for his drug debts to stop him getting attacked,then just last night another drug collecter came knocking the door and he owes him almost £200.I cannot and will not pay it.
I want him to get help but he tells me im on his case,he lies and steals i cannot leave any money in my home ,over the years he has stolen thousands of pounds worth of goods and cash,he has stolen my bank card and wihtdrawn cash,stolen his brothers savings book and withdrawn cash but i have never reported him to the police.I love him and want to help him but he doesn't feel he needs help ?? He now has to hide in our town he walks around with his hood up and is forever ducking and diving hoping to avoid people and just a few nights ago he shop lifted £70 worth of meat from  the local shop he wasnt caught but i found out about it and he swapped it for drugs.
I feel i am to blame,ive tried my best to raise him the right way,his brother and sister are not like him and they hate his behaviour,his brother refuses to speak to him because of the amount of things he has had stolen.

~What can i do where can i go for help,i phoned talk to frank and they were a waste of a phone call,i have phoned drug rehab places,i phoned the local pychiatric hospital and they all tell the same story if he doesnt want help then i cannot do anything.
So do i just sit back and watch as my son slowly destroys his life,i do not want to be going to his funeral because hes overdosed or some dealer has decided to make him pay for his debts.
Help or advice please.

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