We care, for the better.
A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.
- How do I know if they're using drugs?
- Why do they use drugs/alcohol?
- Is it my fault?
- How can I cope with their behaviour?
- Understanding the stages of addiction and recovery
- Where do I get the help I need?
- Getting support for your loved one
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Where has my little boy gone
Posted by motherslove on 16 December 2011.
I'm so sad and depressed. My son is a heroin user and has been for the past 11 yrs. No matter what is dad and I do for him he keeps going back to using. We're not sure when he started dabbling in drugs although we believe it was from the age of around 11/12 but being naive and totally unaware of drugs we did'nt know the signs. He has always been hyperactive, never still always on the go, but he was loving and caring and just one of his smiles could melt your heart. In 2000 we decided to move away from the place we had lived for 15yrs and rented a farm. It was supposed to be a new beginning, our ideal place, what we had always wanted. He was 19 and had the choice of staying behind or coming with us. He chose to come with us. That was when things started to go really bad. During 2003 he had to be sectioned under the Mental Health Act. As the time he was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. I gave up work to become his carer and for a short while he seemed to be getting better. But gradually he became unreasonable, verbally aggresive and un-cooperative. We had to move from the farm as we could'nt afford it with me not working and got a place nearer to a city centre in the hope that he would feel more comfortable. Then his dad found needles in the house and he was told to leave immediately. He has had a succession of flats and hostel places but whenever it seems that he is settled and happy he just reverts back to his old ways. He has stolen from us and his sister and even from his 7yr old niece. He has alinated all his extended family and they are elderly and frightened of him. The only one who has stood by him is me and I now feel that I have to walk away for my own sanity and its breaking my heart. He has been charged on numerious occasions with shoplifting, theft and is currently on a caution but it dose'nt stop him. He has quite alot of money coming in but still he goes and gets loans that he will never pay back. In August he got a brilliant little flat close to us and he furnised it and I tried to help him to budget his money, but he has now sold everything including his bed and only has a settee. The other day he ran out of electricity and for the 1st time I refused to help him out, which I know was the right thing to do, so why do I feel so guilty. I can't stop thinking about him alone with nothing and especially as Christmas is approaching, but nobody wants him around. That little bundle of joy and happiness has gone and in its place is misery and heartache. Am I right to walk away and leave him to sort his life out and how do I live with the thought that he may harm himself. When does the pain stop. How do you make him understand what he has done to his family.
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