: Drugs, alcohol and mental health

Discuss the twin challenges of mental health and substance use

4 replies

Sisters

Hi

I am new to this website and have joined for some support and advice if anybody can help.

In July My sister admitted to us that she has an addiction to cocaine and she went to a place for help to stop.

It’s there duty to inform social services as my sister has 3 children 11,10 and 6.

But things are just going from bad to worse. My sister has violent outbursts and swears at her children and she in my eyes has neglected them.

Her home is a complete mess and her two older children are living with my mum or stay with me a lot.

The younger one doesn’t like leaving my sister and is very clingy.

All the children’s behaviour is worrying they are behind in everything at school, have anxiety issues and also aggressive towards one another. One youngest has displayed some sexual behaviour which alarmed me as it was towards my child who is only 3.

My sisters children have now been put on child protection as the social worker feels that my sister isn’t making positive steps forwards. And the children are sending mixed messsages about going home to live.

She tells us she has stopped the drugs and has cleared up her home

And started decorating her children’s bedrooms... so why would the social services put the children under the child protection?

I’m worried sick about my mum who’s getting on now and her blood pressure is through the roof even on tablets.

I find it so so hard to understand addiction and myself and my mum resent my sister for what she is doing and we feel bad as we cannot get our head round the fact that you will lose your kids if you don’t stop!

I really don’t understand an addiction and how it’s more important than your children

Thanks x

replying to WorriedSister

I cometpley understand and goig through the same thing.

It's unbearable to watch. To the point I can not bare to live a single more day of this nightmare.

The effect it's having on my parents who are already ill ( mum is bed bound and my dad has had 3 heart attacks and now depressed) her poor son who she hasn't seen since July.

They just don't care about anyone but themselves.

I'm also new to the group so don't really have much advice for you but I just wanted you to know I can relate to you.

replying to WorriedSister

Hi worried sister.

You poor thing. I just joined today to off load somewhere. I do not know what to say myself just that addiction is a horrible thing. Sitting here writing this now hearing my son snorting ketamine in his room. The anger and hurt that I feel right now is soul destroying. He works so hard yet is in debt up to his eyeballs. U fortunately they do not see the suffering that they put the family through. They become selfish and the drugs and the gambling is all that matters to them. They lie and they don’t care that they are destroying themselves. I wish there was a solution. It’s sad for the likes of yourself having to worry about your sibling. My other children have mentally detached themselves away from my two sons. Which in a way is good at least they are not suffering like I am. I feel so alone as do many people on here that have written their stories. Hope you find some help out there.

replying to WorriedSister

Hi All of You,

Thanks for sharing your stories. Living with a loved one's addiction really is an awful thing and maybe you would like to get some support for yourselves. If so please contact us at The Icarus Trust. We are a charity especially set up to support people in your situations. We have trained and experienced people that you could talk with which might help you not to feel so alone and to make some sense of what is happening.

You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website www.icarustrust.org

Good luck.

replying to WorriedSister

Hi guys,

You are going through such trying times, and it is important to reach out for support for yourself when you are not sure how to carry on.

You could call the Samaritans on 116 123, and you can also find support for families affected by drug and alcohol use in your area through the Adfam Service Finder Map (https://www.adfam.org.uk/home).

I hope that this is useful, and that you find the support you need, and deserve.

Best wishes,

Clara

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