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replying to B8988

I dont mean to be rude hear, but are you muslim? Only because you keep saying 'your law' and im just thinking of sharia law.

replying to Aabb

Hi Aabb

you need to contact someone about this, the police, doctors - you need to leave him. Him threatening to kill you, is horrendous - call the police and ask for help, they will put you in a refuge, if you're married you can get help with legals as well.

he wont change, he wont kill himself, he is manipulating you.

contact the police on 111 and ask for help...

x

replying to B8988

Hes gaslighting.. ignore the law he is going on about. That does not matter.

Do what georgia says.. and ring the police and they will house you somewere else straight away!

replying to georgia26

Hi Georgia. I'm glad your partner is on the right road and continues to get himself right. Staying positive without being naive is the right way to go about it. You are a good 'un supporting him through all of this and the added stresses it brings with it.

There is always seems to be reason for abusing the coke. Stress in their lives so self medicating. 'Husband' did it to forget his up coming (at the time) court case so I can understand.

Luckily I don't have to mix in those 'recreational' circles now with 'husband' inside and out of harms way. But I am left to pick up the pieces of this shattered life all because of his bad choices.

replying to B8988

Hi, My husband has been addicted to cocaine for the last few years and since his habit became worse he has ended up been an alcoholic aswell, I ended up putting him out the house in February as I couldn’t take it any more the constant lies were driving me insane We also have 4 children and it was not right for them to see their Dad lying on the couch surrounded by wine bottles when they were getting up ready to go to school we were arguing daily and the atmosphere in the house was horrendous! :-(

I asked him to leave in February as I couldn’t take it anymore it was turning me in to a nervous wreck, and I had to protect myself and children and stop putting him first, he was always full of empty promises and lying through his teeth about everything I always felt I had a duty as his wife to help him worried the last few years if I put him out his habit would get worse but overtime he was using daily cocaine and alcohol he also starting gambling, the money he has wasted is absolutely sickening, we run a small family business and money was too accessible to feed his habit that it steadily got worse! I hoped by asking him to leave it would of brought him to his senses the thought of losing his family but it hasn’t! Everything is my fault, he plays the victim with friends and family all the time as he is living in a caravan and is blaming me for asking him to leave he is in denial and won’t grasp the reason he is not here he won’t speak about it! I sent him solicitor letter saying I would support him but only if he got help for his addictions he has just ignored letter and is burying his head is sand, Obviously the thought of him never been able to use again is more frightening to him than the thought of losing his family!! Iv had enough I’m at my wits end and at the end of the day I keep telling myself “you can’t help someone that doesn’t want to help themselves” I am sick of putting my life on hold in the hope he will sort himself out when all he is focusing on is himself Coke and Drink!

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replying to B8988

Im relating to all this... only came across this after Googling summit to do without cocaine. I take it regularly and dont see myself as an addict..

After reading this I am seeing the traits but wont admit it either than that I have issues with it but not an addict as I dont do it everyday.

I can understand everyone's points mind.

Everyones complaining about men tho... I'm female... good job... partner...child..

It goes beyond the general typical men being arseholes. My partner doesn't do it at all. Never gets any issues from me but doesnt realise the times I might sneak it.

replying to Lala8824

Hi. I'm sorry but it sounds like you are addicted to me. I was in denial for a year and believed I was in control. If I had listened to the signs then it might have been easier to stop, now I've tried several support groups, counselling, deleting numbers etc, and told my partner the truth but somehow still find ways of getting it when the urge takes over.

Its a serious problem so tackle it now.

Good luck

replying to B8988

You’re story is mirror image of my marriage. We met 2004 married 2007 and have two children now 11 and 10.

He was the love of my life x the connection we had was more than anyone could understand x I worshipped him x in the first couple of years we would do coke every couple of weeks or so and go clubbing and go to Ibiza 3 short breaks a year to go mad x then we got married and had kids and for me that wasn’t what I wanted to do anymore x he’d say I was boring now I was a mum and he was upset that the kids were my priority. About a year on, I’d noticed our disconnect and he was distant and going about his own business, he said it was cos he needed to earn more as the kids cost more. Though it turns out he had been doing coke on a daily basis, he started putting his money in business account instead of joint, he cancelled direct debits and stopped paying bills. I didn’t click on this for a good 3 years, then I found empty bags in his van and his work areas, he tried to deny it but didn’t have a leg to stand on, I trusted him so never had reason to question him or cheque accounts, he’d been spending £200- £300 a week on it and cancelled all my direct debits to cover it. Getting me in debt.

Even though I’d caught him out he swore he’d stopped but never did!

I left him2 years ago, me and kids left the family home whilst he stayed, living there like a down and out. He hasn’t paid the mortgage in 15 months forcing the bank to apply for repossession!! Yet it’s still all my fault for leaving him as he can’t cope in his own.

I lost my soul mate, the love of my life to cocaine. He’s now an evil, selfish, vindictive, spiteful shell of a man. He’s a completely different person who has no feelings for anyone but himself. Trying to get through to him and try support him results in him telling me what a bad person I am, bad mother, greedy for wanting maintenance and need to see a doctor as I’m crazy for saying he’s a cocaine addict x I love him so much but he’s gone. The coke has got him and we’ll never get him back xc

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replying to B8988

He now buys £120 a day and our house is up for sale to beat the banks taking it from us x I’ve just spent 3 days and nights solid cleaning his shit up to get it on the market.

I can’t dwell on it anymore, the mani loved has gone. And who is now breaks my heart.

So my advice just leave x you’ll never get him back and the longer you stay the more he’ll damage you. You’ll never recover from relentless abuse. So get out before it’s too late xx

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