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Alcoholic husband in denial

I’m new here but desperately need to know I’m not alone. My husband is wonderful when sober, but right now that’s not often. He drinks then says I’m crazy and controlling. I have to do everything In the house, and he forgot my birthday last week, then says I’m mental for getting upset about things. I cry most nights. I don’t know what to do anymore . Any support appreciated

replying to Helen300

Hi Helen,

You definitely are not alone and clearly you could do with some support for yourself as what you are dealing with is so very hard.

Please contact The Icarus Trust which is the charity I work for. We are there to support people going through what you are and we have very experienced people who you could talk with and may be that would help. They also would be able to let you know what other help is available for you in your local area.

Please contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website www.icarustrust.org

Good luck.

replying to Helen300

My sister is an alcoholic. She used to tell me that her husband was abusive and controlling and thats why she would drink. I now know that it was the other way round since she started her antics with me. She is manipulative, controlling and abusive when under the influence. Luckily for us she now goes to AA and a drink hasn't passed her lips for weeks now. We live in hope and it has been a tough time for us.

I wish you well.

replying to Helen300

You are not alone, I have 2 children and been in a relationship for 15 years with an alcoholic. He has had a few years now and then of being sober but the same pattern returns. Your not crazy or mental, they make you feel that way because it’s a way to justify their own behaviour. Plan things with friends/family and your children so you have things to look forward too. Do some mediation maybe to relax you in the evenings. I hope it gets better or you find some peace. I hope the same for myself too x

replying to Helen300

Thanks . It’s very heartbreaking when they say they’ll change then they buy another bottle. Heartbreaking is actually an understatement. It’s comforting to know other people are going through the same

replying to Helen300

This is awful to feel this way, hard as it is. They do cate about you somewhere but unfortunately the substance overpowers that.

What I wouldn't give for the things we had. .. I know how you feel ❤

Access to this forum has been temporarily disabled for all users. If you are looking for immediate support, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123.

We have temporarily closed this forum for maintenance and review.

Adfam exists to provide support for, and improve the lives of, families affected by substance use, and we have found that in recent months the balance of posts has shifted to focus on users’ personal issues with substances and addiction. While we recognise that these are issues that deserve support, the high volume of posts had become unmanageable for our small team, and was preventing us from facilitating support for families. We have closed the forum to re-evaluate, and we will be re-launching as soon as possible with a renewed focus on family support. From that point on, we will not be facilitating any conversation regarding individuals’ own substance use.

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