Hi, I'm new here. I'm really struggling.
I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year.
At Christmas he got tangled in a web of lies and he finally told me has a problem. He downplayed it.
Since then it's quite quickly become worse. He lives 90 miles away and gets lonely. He's been looking for a job so he can be closer.
Last week he turned up smelling if alcohol. So he'd driven 90 miles over the limit. He'd been acting strange that week. He owned up to calling into work sick, and drinking all day every day. He had shakes over the weekend.
I've been in 2 abusive relationships and I like my space and need trust.
He is quite needy. I told him I find him smothering.
This resulted in him spending Money to Thurs completely wasted. It only stopped because I called the police.
He's now seeking help and has an assessment due on Friday.
He sent me a lot of horrible messages when he was drunk but I didn't retaliate. He has now apologised a couple of times by text.
Firstly I'm pretty hurt - he has called his parents and apologised profusely. He wasn't even rude to them in the first place.
I feel guilty because I'm angry at him. I feel smothered and not listened to. My emotions change hourly. I am totally exhausted.
His dad told me it's been a problem for 15 years and he's never dealt with it.
He's asked if I still love him. Right now I'm so numb I'm not sure what I feel for him. I felt I had to tell him I love him because otherwise he'll relapse. And then I resent him for that.
I'm trying so hard to be empathetic but it's very difficult when I've been lied to for over a year.
I have realised now that there have been so many occasions in the last year when he's been drunk and lied to me.
Does anyone else feel angry and resentful? How do you cope?