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replying to MaMA12

Psighco - I also ask myself am I to blame. I am enabling him?!

People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. I’m beginning to realise I deserve better x

replying to MaMA12

Just reading about other people’s experiences is useful. You’ve said several things that I can relate too. I can talk to him one day and I can feel certain that he realises he has to do something the next day he’s drinking and says he didn’t say what he said. I find hidden empty bottles everywhere. He lies about when and how much he’s drunk. He had 3 bottles of wine yesterday. After 2 we went to a BBQ. He said he would have a beer. I caught him drinking port out of bottle from where drink was kept. He said he was getting a beer. He had port on his t shirt. He’s not violent or aggressive but he is half cut all of the time and quiet as a mouse and withdrawn when he can’t get it. I’ve taken control of money before but he will steal it if he has too. I now make sure he has money or he will end up with a criminal conviction and no job

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replying to MaMA12

We get on so well. He’s very loving and attentive most of the time. If he wasn’t I’d have left a long time ago.

I just know not to tell him or say anything to him after about 9pm. He’s whole demeanour changes. I’ve told him it’s like living with Jekyll and Hyde.

He was wasted when I got home on Friday. He makes stupid comments and I’ve learnt to just ignore them & went to bed. Saturday as soon as he got home he said sorry but I didn’t even have the energy to ask him what he was sorry for. I just do not know what to say to him anymore so we just act normal. It’s absolute madness. I feel something is going to give soon

replying to MaMA12

How much does he drink? It’s obviously too much but my husband seems to think it’s sustainable (I believe ) to drink 2 or 3 bottles wine a day. Swings from admitting he needs to do something to saying he just needs to cut down a bit. He never misses work but he smells of it I think work must know but he is reliable and hard working. At weekend he will start at 7am if it’s in the house He hasn’t been drink free since Christmas I’m

Same. Partner is a

Sweet gentle person but he gets on my nerves when he’s drunk

He is going to have a stroke or something. How long has your partner been like he is ?

replying to MaMA12

He works really hard.

During the week he starts as soon as he gets home 4+cans of cider and 1-2 bottles of white wine.

At weekends he will start about 11am. Sometimes has a drink before he’s eaten. He also takes prescribed painkillers and amitriptyline. Lethal combination. He has always liked a drink. Known to be life and soul of any family gatherings but they don’t see him when he comes home and drinks more. He glazes over, starts slurring, stumbling about. And then wonders why I don’t want to sleep with him?

It started about 15 years ago.

replying to MaMA12

So many things I recognise there. I’ve tried so many things. I got him to a referral but he lied about amount pointless if heart wasnt in it. I doubt he’ll go again as wasn’t good experience Threatened to leave but he’d try hard for a day or so and then I’d suspect he’d drunk anyway. If I leave ( he won’t ) I’ll hurt myself more than him I think. He’d go downhill too. I find it frustrating that I cannot influence him one bit. In fact my success in recovery makes him more defiant We had couples counselling years ago. So I’m waiting for something to happen that gives him a shove. Our life is on hold until then

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replying to MaMA12

I don’t drink. Never liked the taste of it tbh & I like to be in control.

Well done for beating it. I know it’s not easy and must be even harder when your partner drinks.

I totally get that. I’m just waiting for something bad to happen.

What will it take & how long can I carry on living like this?

I have my own stuff to deal with and just feel something is going to give soon.

replying to MaMA12

Hi

I hope that you have been able to get to us at The Icarus Trust. If not here are our contact details.

You can contact The Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website www.icarustrust.org

All the very best.

Thanks for recommending us Helen.

replying to MaMA12

Hi

I have just emailed you

Many thanks Helen

replying to MaMA12

I have made sure others are aware

It felt like betrayal at first but my family know and I contacted his brother. In an argument one time I decided I wasn’t going to make excuses for him. That’s as far as it’s gone. I have threatened to contact his work. Didn’t see it through I have withheld it from him controlling money that didn’t work, I have given him as much as he wants thinking that he would make himself feel awful that doesn’t work either - he will drink all day and still continue the next. The thing that frustrates me the most is that he now refuses to discuss it at all Shuts conversation down completely. I’ve explained how unreasonable that is given we share a life and it affects me I supposed we’ve been round and round and there is little more I can add Do you still have any discussions about what’s going on on his head ?

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