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replying to Psighco

Hi - I also ask myself am I to blame. Am I enabling him?!

People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. I’m beginning to realise I deserve better x

replying to MaMA12

I feel I am betraying him if I tell his family. Told him last night he needs professional help and he needs to make the call. He has today to do it or I will tell his sister. I can’t deal with it on my own anymore.

Also emailed Icarus for support.

It’s so hard as I still see glimpses of the man I married.

This would be so much easier if I didn’t love him so much.

1 reply

replying to MaMA12

I think you’re doing the right this by telling sister even if it just allows you not to bear it all on your shoulders. You Have to look after you too As you said you can’t go on as it is. My husband can’t really see why it should affect me. He denys he’s any different I never know who I’m going to get. He had no dreams or desires for future he lives entirely in the moment. He is completely occupied by drink. I truly believe there is no event that’s led to this, drinking has increased over time and it’s just comfortable. I can’t fix it. Just As you said will face to do it himself and he doesn’t want too. I have had an introduction email from Icarus. Hope they are able to find you support. Will be happy to listen as well

replying to MaMA12

It’s comforting to know there are people going through similar issues, as it’s such a lonely thing to experience , especially if like me you don’t want to share the burden with friends and family. We are due to be going on holiday tomorrow but he’s just told me to go alone because I’m selfish. I am the most un-selfish person you could meet ( sounds arrogant and I am really not ! ) so for him to say that devastates me. I know it’s the drink talking, but it’s impossible not to be upset. Sending love to everyone xxx

replying to MaMA12

I agree I have never felt so alone in my life. It’s such a heavy burden to carry on your own. I’ve admitted to myself I can’t do it on my own so am hoping Icarus counsellor contacts me now I’ve finally asked for some help. I urge you to do the same if you haven’t already.

I have no tears left I just feel very sad all the time.

I don’t doubt for a minute that you aren’t selfish.

Alcohol will always comes first which clouds his judgement and he reacts so differently to if he was sober. It’s a constant battle. And I’m so tired of feeling this way.

I hope you can enjoy your holiday. Take care x

replying to Mrschats

I like you am holding out for some support. He can’t do it on his own. He needs professional help and he has made an appointment. He has a lot of demons & I’m just hoping he will finally be able to face them & I can have my husband back. I know there is no quick fix & things will get worse before they get better but it’s a start.

I’m just waiting for Icarus to get back to me. Admitting I need help has been a big step for me.

I hope they can help you too x

replying to MaMA12

Brilliant he’s taken the first step! Hes taken action that’s great. No it won’t be easy but your at least on the road. I have had contact with Icarus and arranged a call this week I’m sure will be the same for you.

Had talk with husband at weekend. Managed to have a bit of a conversation which has resulted in new promise to cut down. I should be happy but I find it sad that he thinks willpower will allow him to drink like normal people. We’ve been here a million times and I’ve congratulated him on one day. There is life behind the eyes today. I’m now waiting for day he tells me he’s hasnt drunk and it’s obvious he has. Seeing his struggle hurts me so much. I feel guilty for not feeling optimistic. Perhaps I’ll get help in my phone call

Please keep posting. It helps immensely!

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