Addicted & Scared by PaoloHi Paolo, I didnt want to read and run as it sounds like you are struggling. Start by deleting dealers numbers, sorry, but you'll have to change your circle of friends, as I imagine you've surrounded yourself with like minded people, stop drinking too as you'll never stop if you carry on drinking, it lowers your guard. Believe me when I say, life will be easier, more enriched and you will be a much better father to your girls and a much better husband to your wife than you are now. Focus on them, keep occupied with them, throw yourself into family and work. Its hard to stop, but my husband is 6 months clean after 20 years mostly on the stuff (with differing levels of use) This site is good for offering support and seeing it from the side of the people the addiction is affecting, which believe me, will be far worse than you realise. Keep in touch.