Talk about your experiences with others.

Posts by LemonySnicket

joined

17 posts in 6 threads

Holiday struggles by

Hi again Trainer28 I've had a rough few years. My husband had been using on and off without me knowing (Cocaine in his case). I can't say how much - he had originally confessed in 2013 but wouldn't let me tell family, wouldn't give up drinking, wouldn't let me take control of his money. I should have left then. But he had a quiet few years or so I thought, until relapsing in 2017. Since then he has had a good 12-18 months, not drinking and going to meetings and he has been focused on recovery better than ever before, but he's hidden massive debts which have recently come to light and I can't carry on, I've got to protect myself and my children. I just can't trust him. In hindsight, there needs to be total surrender. The addict needs to be on their knees begging for help. They properly need to be at rock bottom before change is possible. If there's any suspicion that they are not, then walk. I wish I had known how bad things could get at the start of the journey I've been on.

My husband died by

Dear Blue Widow I am so sorry to read your story. I really hope you have some support in real life. My husband is a cocaine addict and we are currently divorcing because I recently discovered he had lied about lapses and relapses and has enormous amounts of debt which he hid from me and I believe he will soon go bankrupt. I am sure you have struggled for a long time and hoped for the best and had your hopes dashed. If you are like me it feels like someone else's life, and it's an enormous strain to deal with everything unravelling and and at the same time to deal with your own turmoil. I can't imagine how terrible it must be if the addiction leads to death. Have you been to your GP? I expect that you would qualify for counselling. In the short term the Icarus Trust should be able to help you too. It is so much to bear. Keep well xx

My boyfriend is addicted to cocain and I have no one to talk to by

I agree again with Danman83. If I had a time machine, I would have told my husband's parents, and mine, as soon as I found out. Addiction thrives on secrecy. Don't underestimate how bad things can get - you need all the support you can get. I also watched the Louise Clarke videos on youtube - very helpful in helping you as the non-addict what is going on in the addict brain. Good luck - I hope things get better for you all.

Husband, addiction and debt by

Thank you so much Lou. I’ve had a busy few days. Seen and instructed a solicitor today. I thought it would be hard, but my mind is clear on what I have to do. I am so sad to be upending our lives but it’s not my actions that have brought us here. Husband now knows everything. He admits he knew this was coming as HMRC warned him, Makes me feel worse because he still kept it from me. He was properly burying his head in the sand. He thought he would end up in prison. He’s gradually understanding the consequences now and that I mean what I say. It is so sad. I too hope it’s a fresh start for him although it’s too late for us xx