Talk about your experiences with others.

Posts by Trainer28


33 posts in 21 threads

Wife secret drinking by

Dellboy, You sound like an absolutely lovely person and I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It sounds like you are at the end of your tether, not wanting to go home from work so maybe you have already made your decision about staying or leaving? Your children might have more quality time with you if you actually have somewhere you want to return to at the end of the day. I am really pleased that you’ve been able to get this off your chest on here because it sounds like you are carrying a massive burden and a lot of confusion, that would make anyone feel overwhelmed. When I get thoughts of ending it all, I try to remember that I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to live in this pain anymore. As a child of divorced parents, I can tell you it is not always a terrible thing, it has brought me many blessings, as well as a bit of pain, I have half siblings who I love greatly. My Mum passed away in her late 40’s unfortunately and that pain is unbearable and will never leave me. Please use the Samaritans number should you need it. If you need a counsellor to speak to, look up ‘Icarus’ online, they respond quickly and you can converse by telephone. I can feel and understand your desperation. Sending best wishes for whatever you decide to do.

4 of 9 posts

Partner going to rehab by

Hi, thanks for your reply, I didn’t see your original post but have just read it now. It makes so much sense to me because I also have a certain amount of anger and bitterness and it comes and goes depending on what’s going on. It’s so confusing when you see the man you fell in love with as he was again but then alcohol or other substances take over. I can also relate to the fact that you don’t want to tell him the truth about how you’re really feeling whilst he’s in rehab. My partner actually said that I’ll finish it anyway even if he does get clean but I told him not to think about us and our relationship but to think about him being healthy and recovering no matter what happens afterwards, I hope that’s the right thing to do! Maybe you could live apart when he gets out so he can take responsibility for himself but remain married and have some kind of relationship? It may force him to live an alcohol free life, who knows. Thanks for the advice about staying positive, you are right, we’ve got to have hope right?!

2 of 3 posts

Holiday struggles by

The thing is my husband did give up drinking without being told to, he just decided it would be for the best because he had started a drug treatment. We were at the point where I couldn’t handle it anymore and he knew he was the worst he’d ever been. He pulled it back and attends meetings and seems to want to carry on. It’s the replacement therapy he’s on plus the painkiller for his back which sometimes make him appear high which is hard to handle, it’s painful seeing him like that but he doesn’t understand that. I hope things are better for you now and in the future, it really is an awful position that he’s put you in and I can empathise with the pain, frustration and sadness that comes with it .

4 of 7 posts

i dont know how to do this.. by

I’m sorry to read what you are both going through at such a young age, this would be so difficult for an adult to deal with and it sounds like you are mature and want better for you and your sister so that’s already an amazing positive step. Neither of you have to be alone in this. You should definitely seek out support for you and your sister from a drugs and alcohol service. There will be supportive adults there who can point you in the right direction and give you some practical advice. It’s hard to deal with at the moment but in years to come this will make you the best parent because of the mistakes they have made and are making. All the best

Newbie by

I always think there is the chance for a happy ending once someone has admitted they have a problem and agree to getting help. That’s not to say there might not be difficulties along the way and it might take a lot of invested time and support but it’s not impossible. Being honest, I wouldn’t necessarily say his reply means it’s the beginning of his recovery. You could tell him that you are willing to support him with going to his GP or to an alcohol service and see if he is ready for that? If he is ready, you could move forward from there and then there is a light at the end of the tunnel

1 of 2 posts

Advice & help please!!! by

The only advice I would give you from experience with people who have mental health problems who take drugs is that the abuse of drugs and alcohol only make them worse. The moods, the aggression, the abuse all get worse if they aren’t ready to change or get help. I believe the person who emotionally (and eventually physically abused me) did love me but his idea of love was totally different to mine and it was a selfish love. It sounds like he’s emotionally nasty to you and aggressive towards you and that is concerning, especially the fact that it has already or physical. I agree with supporting someone who is trying to get themselves out of a rut but You might need to get away from the situation for your own safety and happiness if he isn’t willing to help himself. It sounds like you have given everything you can and should. He is responsible for his own recovery, not you. As a friend living apart, you could still encourage him to see his GP.