We care, for the better.
A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.
- How do I know if they're using drugs?
- Why do they use drugs/alcohol?
- Is it my fault?
- How can I cope with their behaviour?
- Understanding the stages of addiction and recovery
- Where do I get the help I need?
- Getting support for your loved one
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What do I do?
Posted by 36andexhausted on 6 January 2018.
I left my last relationship with someone that was sexually abusive, aged 30 after 10 years together. Myself, and my two beautiful children lost everything and started again. I re-met a childhood friend, an embarked on a relationship that is, 7 years later, destroying me. He is intelligent, witty, and my soul mate. While we've been together, he has been unfaithful for a period of a year, been unemployed for a year, been emotionally distant, and put me in 30k of debt. His drinking fluctuates. It used to be shots of neat spirits from 9am. Now, it's wine after work, but a LOT of it, and i've just learned anything up to half a bottle of whisky after I go to bed. He's admitted to regularly driving with my children in the car while he's over the limit. After 7 years of pleading, he's just got himself referred for counselling. He has nobody other than my children and I (that is not an exaggeration). He has no other relationships in his life, as he shuts out everyone, and always has. A massive part of me wants to run away and leave, but practically I can't as he made me take his debt in my name so I can't afford to pay it alone and live. Also, as he's so emotionally dependent, I feel selfish for not wanting to support him as i'm all he has. If I tell him to leave, he won't as he has nowhere to go and is entirely dependent both practically and emotionally. I'm not equipped to deal with a future with this man, sober or not, and can't get out without destroying my children's lives again. He's 6ft 2. I'm 5ft 3. He has been physically abusive after drinking, but the emotional abuse is worse. He laughs at me, taunts me, ignores me...then the next day cries, apologises, and inevitably does it again. No idea where to start with getting my life back.
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