Well it was similar for me, but he hid it so well. I’d just got used to him sleeping most of the day, being depressed and unable to think. He hid the drinking so well, that we did not realise the cause. He’s not your noisy drunk, and blamed it all on his ill health and mine.
He’s getting help now, but finds it very hard to be self aware, eg re his behaviour and how it impacts on us. He’s been very depressed and he’s a bit better but still low. He can’t see he’s ever was depressed nor how he is now. I’ve had to tell him the impact it’s had on us, many times. He wouldn’t have worked it out for himself. I’d kept a diary during my own illness, so I had lots of specific examples to use. He, of course, couldn’t remember them, but it meant he couldn’t convince me that it didn’t happen.
Everyone is different, but the “ when you do …….., I feel………. “ approach has helped me. Just saying it released tension I didn’t know I had. I hope things improve.