I would like to thank you for replying to my post. It has helped writing it down and I don’t feel as alone now knowing that others understand where I am coming from. People who have not lived it cannot truly understand the stress and impact of living with the constant fear of what will happen next. I carry the guilt of whether I could have done more to stop him (I don’t think for one minute there was anything he would have listened to), the worry of his current whereabouts and what he is doing (but the stress he causes when he does turn up is horrendous) and mentally prepare myself for the worst. My daughter, who has been my biggest support and has also tried for years to help him, is having CBT to help her cope with her anxieties about her brother. This is the impact he has had on my other children and it is not fair. Keep strong. x
