Hi Annie,
I am so sorry to read your very sad post and really feel for you. The loss of your sister and the affect it has had on your family must be so hard to deal with. If you think it would be helpful for you to get some support for yourself please contact The Icarus Trust.
We are a charity that provides support for people who are affected by a loved one’s addictions, like yourself. We have trained and experienced people who you could talk to and that might help to to make some sense of what you are feelingand see a way forward.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I really hope that you find this helpful.
All the best,
The Icarus Trust