It is hard to extract ourselves from the situation and I can’t run away either.
I try not to get annoyed nowadays or at least try not to show it.
My husband doesn’t manipulate like yours does though as the love is not there anymore for control. I’m the same I wish he would disappear off the face of the earth.
Yesterday I had a phone call at work from husband, he was talking about my mums financial issues and saying how he would always support her. (She has dementia) He was also talking about my siblings and their other halves taking advantage of us. As he was going to work he would talk to me about it later. I was really moved by this and quite emotional as he was talking to me like my soul mate, my loving, supportive husband who could talk to me about anything and everything ……..wait for it, he didn’t get in till after I had gone to bed and he didn’t wake me up, so we didn’t have that conversation.
I try to accept now that at the time he is probably concerned or wants to do something. But later he has forgotten all about it. This is for my sanity. Like you it hurts me so much, you are not alone.