Honestly, you cant help or do anything, he must want to do it, until he wants to he absolutely wont change.
I was in your position as well – its the worst thing ever isnt it, being angry, distance, nice – none of it works, the cocaine will come first, the thing is you need to do is not blame yourself and dont think youre not good enough because its not that at all.
Until he is serious about quitting, even him saying “hes open” to getting help, personally seems like he isnt 100% in it. I think that this will go on for some time, until he hits rock bottom and then he will put his hands up and beg for help, because thats what needs to happen.
The counselling/CA groups etc wont work, if hes not 100% invested.
He needs to stop drinking completely, as thats a huge trigger.
I went through this for months on end with my OH – it broke me down, until i felt mentally ill myself, i blamed myself for not being good enough.
honestly just dont be naive about it, its a disease after all and sometimes incurable (which sounds scary as hell) but apparently its incurable and just “managed” ive read so much up on it.
my OH does addiction counselling now which focuses on anxiety/addiciton – it is helping.
my true advice – if youve only just met, and you have no ties and hes not willing to invest in this – honestly walk away, i wish i had. This will go on and on and it spirals out of control, you end up losing everything (and actually the person changes completely) as thats number 1, before kids, work, YOU.
Seriously, it sounds negative – but read some threads on here – people not willing to stop and sort of want to, dont, it gets out of control and they get into debt and marriages break down.
youve absolutely come to the right place though – as we can all support you.
be strong – put yourself first <3 read up online, watch some YouTube stuff. Dont let his addiction consume your life though , because it will..
xxx Good luck