Thanks Hox, I need to hear the truth. But it suddenly dawned on me I am not getting any younger would I be happy with the same situation in a years time? The answer is no. Its now I am feeling it, its taking a toll on me. I am finding it hard putting on a smile and pretending everything is fine. I am thinking about it non stop. Its the unpredictable behaviour from sort of being happy to obnoxious vile person, its making me feel sick. I thought that sort of stuff happens when you are younger! I knew things were going to be tough but I never knew it was ever going to get as bad as this. He has had the perfect childhood, had whatever he wanted. I would of dreamed to have what he has had as a kid.
But when you are being told that I am not supportive enough or I am the reason he is in that position I am believing it. I always try and remember the good in what he has done, but he rarely credits me for helping him. When its more remembering the negatives because there has been no positives lately its really hard…..
Before when we have been out for a meal in the evening (been a long time since we have) , its rush rush because he thinks everyone is looking at him… but I have assured him no one is.
I can’t believe what a full blown problem it is in the UK, I know some people have that attitude why help someone when they brought it on themselves. If someone has had some bad luck, it only takes one sniff one drink and it starts to break the mechanisms in their mind.