It does knock the wind out of your sails, like you say there is no preparing. Nothing is normal what they do anymore. Selfish is an understatement.
You are right about it being inexcusable leaving the children and are spot on about them getting worse if there are no consequences to their actions. Their addiction can become their excuse for everything they do.
I have been depressed for fourteen months and I tortured myself not going to the docs. I was anxious and deflated, not sleeping and I developed bruxism too. I couldn’t take it anymore i’m now on anti depressants and am going to CBT and am feeling more level if you know what I mean. The tablets numb me.
I have to go to work too to keep everything going. It has been a struggle and we haven’t got kids.
We bother because we loved the person they were before the addiction took a hold of them. Before sniffing coke my ‘husband’ didn’t flinch at anything that life threw at us. Now he runs away.
I don’t know how you can build yourself up after this as I’m still trying myself. I wish I had a magic wand to take all our misery away I really do. I’m trying to deal with being on my own too after all these years.