Hi Mate,
Im going to post what I posted to another user so here goes:
I wasted so many years and so much money on the drug it pains me still to think about it! Guessing from you username your born in 91 so not that much younger than me! Im also guessing you grew up in similar environment where cocaine was just the norm and everyone was using! After a while the two go hand in hand and thats when it got really dangerous from my experience, it can quickly escalate. I assume 90% of addicts start as social users and cocaine has the ability though to take a hold of you where you feel like you absolutely must have it (sounds like you are getting there!) Simply going for beers is pointless if there isn’t a bit of powder around. My work required me to attend events and functions quite often where having a drink was normal and as a result I always had drugs on me, I didn’t feel this transition coming on from social users to addict so do not be disillusioned how dangerous and quickly you can go down this slippery slope. I am by all rights a very succesfull and level headed individual and fortunately I still am so this can happen to anyone, please dont think you are immune to becoming totally dependent on the stuff, if you dont realise the severity of how badly this can go you wont get off it and you will continue down the same road – I know this because I classed myself as a social users until my bank accounts were drained and I started missing payments on rent and bills.
Here are a few things I try to do:
1. Come here and talk to people (just like this) speaking about it and sharing your story/feelings is a great way to help yourself and others.
2. Get rid of the phone numbers, not sure where you get your stuff from but if its a local dealer call your provider and block that number or delete it or do what you need to do.
3. Hard one – but necessary cut out the mates who use it, some people can take drugs casually and have a great time, some dont want help and that also fine, but if you think you have a problem you probably do and therefore you need to make some tough decisions! You dont need to tel everyone about your problem and thats why you are cutting them off, suggest other activities away from the bars/pubs. Take a road trip or do something else, plan for a holiday with money you will save coming of the coke you will be able to afford it.
4. Make a schedule and stay busy! Idle hands are the devil’s workshop! Keep yourself busy, go to the gym, plan ahead activities ahead of time.
5. Lastly I remind myself of what im actually like when im on it! You think your gods gift, funny, chatty, life and soul but the reality is usually stark contrast you just cant see it as your off you face! We have all seen mates on it and beg them to slow down or knock it on the head (yeah thats also you, you just dont realise it)
Wont be easy mate but you can do this! You are not the first person to get carried away with cocaine and you will not be the last, the UK right now is flooded with the stuff and its becoming normalised which is one of the hardest parts! Just remember blowing all your spare cash on coke is not normal mate no matter how many of your mates are doing it.
All the best