Seems like you know and researched and guess it takes ahold of some people. It’s awful and I totally get it. Just think if it’s having a bad effect on life and come downs are horrendous why does it want to make you do more… I guess that’s the bit I don’t get. It can’t be enjoyable.
But your doing the right thing. Building your life again with family unit as family and relationships are key I guess.
I just feel maybe he doesn’t care or love me and that’s why he’s finally pushed me away for good.