Thank you for replying. I really appreciate that.
He sometimes acknowledges that this is an issue. We talked about it after I posted. He says he can’t stop and doesn’t want to as “drink is all he has”. He feels like he doesn’t have control over anything in his life apart from this. Sometimes this turns back on me and blames me for needing to drink. I know this is not the case. We’re lucky to have a lovely family, a nice home. He suffered a lot of trauma in his young life and that perhaps changed him forever. We have so much to be thankful for, I find it so hard to understand why he can’t see it. And why not want to try to make a change if he acknowledges that this is not a good example for the children? In the past he has tried different types of counselling but says none of them work, they make him want to drink more.
I agree with you when you say that unless he sees it as a problem and wants to help himself there is nothing I can do. Accepting that is hard, I feel weak for giving in and as if I am condoning it. I start to feel resentful sometimes that to stay together as a family, I have to back down and accept something I feel is so wrong, and just put up with it. I don’t think there is a solution, but being able to talk on here is really helpful x