I had a few years of uncertainty/lies before everything came crashing down in a spectacular way when hidden debts caught up with my then husband. I had to change what I was doing (supporting/covering up/enabling basically). I wish I had done it sooner for me and for him. At first he was not great and mental health wise he has been up and down but is doing ok at the moment although the family home is about to be sold which will be a challenge for all of us. He was already pretty clean I think most of the time, but I wasn’t confident in his recovery (he had almost always tried to do it alone) or in his capacity for telling the truth about his finances. So we are divorced. I still love him. He has a good job (earns over £70k) and has the opportunity to rebuild his finances. I myself need some help right now. I’ve weathered the storm so far but I am struggling with the house sale, with being divorced (I never expected to be or wanted it and I’m full of sadness for what might have been). But I believe that what I was doing wasn’t helping and had to stop. I had to draw a line and his debts leading essentially to the sale of our house was it, it turned out. I agree with Kel1, with an addict you are pretty much doing life solo anyway.
