From what I can see there’s been a ton of advice on here ????????. And other post’s. That’s how it works. That being said you could always share your own story and then in that way they will give you what you need and comment just to you. It’s all about observation here, however if you require some one to one support then I’d suggest counselling for yourself Kate, and or support groups such as Al Anon.
When I speak, I speak to all, hoping that experience reaches e everyone and not just one person. Take care!