Thank you Jenny- hugs back to you too. I just have to be nice to myself. I had to reach out so I did and that’s that. Sometimes it’s okay and sometimes I’m sorry I did.
You are right about one thing. In my case, I definitely emotionally coddled my children. They had lost their dad at such a young age that I didn’t want them to hurt, so I think I gave them too soft of a landing all the time instead of just letting them experience and face hard things. All three of my kids don’t have great coping skills and clearly my son doesn’t since he turns to alcohol whenever life is too hard. I’m somewhat relieved to hear that you feel the same way. I though it was just us Americans who coddled that generation too much. We call it the Entitlement Generation because they think life owes them something just for existing. We overly praised them for really not doing a whole lot. I’m pretty sure my parents would have told me to figure it out and get it together and they would definitely NOT have given me the money I used to give him if I had acted the way he does. They would have probably tried to get me help, but I can’t see them not living their own lives if I were addicted. In the past, I think I helped him out because I thought he’d appreciate the help and get on with his life. It didn’t work, it just enabled him more. I stopped giving him money a long time ago, but I’m embarrassed for some of the things I’ve done for him. It’s almost like I’ve tried to carry this burden with him so he wouldn’t feel alone, and yet very little of what I’ve attempted to do has made a change in him. I feel a bit better today because I reached out. It helped to unload some grief. ????