Hi Ivy
Please don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve been and you still are a good mum. You can do no more. Its totally down to him now.
If he has a phone, text and let him know that you’re worried about him, but you’re not there to fund his addiction.
Have you read the Theresa thread here – there are about 6 of us mums, all with sons with addictions. There are mums in the same situation as you are , at the moment . There is also Jaynhissay, who is turning life around as a person with addiction. Giving lots of advice and support to the thread, which we as mums
appreciate .
Please don’t despair, be strong, have faith and don’t give up. A person with addiction can turn their life around, but only when they themselves realise that they are powerless and need help and support.
This covid situation is compounding matters too. Find time for you. Don’t make yourself ill with worry, look at some useful apps, like 5 min meditation, headspace, a walk in the park if it’s sunny, or even rainy!
If you need to chat , there’s always great support here.
Take care of you
Lxx