I find I feel like that and then he gets sorted and everything turns ‘rosey’ again, the pain diminishes and I almost forget how bad it all was and try to look forward, and I fall in love all over again. I don’t tend to shout and scream either because it’s never helpful even though god I want to, I don’t make digs about what he’s done or throw it back in his face when he’s sober, I talk to him instead and can see in his face he’s ashamed but doesn’t want to hear it. They live in denial and we live in our own personal hell. It’s disgusting what they do and how they treat us. You must feel in awful not knowing what he is up to. I am dreading him not going to work tomorrow and know he will go to hospital. My work place knows the situation and support me but I imagine my boss thinks I’m a mug and I feel ashamed of myself for being in this situation.
