Every single thing you’ve said, that was 100% me a year ago. And yes, it’s totally normal.
Addicts have very limited insight into their own behaviour. They lie, deny, attack you in defence, abuse you.. they live in denial. The minute you confront them, them turn it round on you. Which is why it’s worthless to confront them. They will make you feel you’re losing your mind. And you will.. lose your mind.
It’s taken me over two years to get where I am. And no one can push you there quicker than you’re ready to move. This is your own process. Your own journey. You can’t just walk away. Not until you go through your own process. But you can start protecting yourself.
I think you really need to get him out of your flat. For your own safety and sanity. ESP if he has his own place. Until he reaches the point that he is genuinely ready to get help he will not stop using. My partner IS ready and has written me the most amazing letters, apologising for everything, acknowledging the pain he put me through, his love for me. But he is still waiting to go into rehab, and still using – and back to the completely abusive, moody, aggressive and lying ****hole.. so I’m done. Haven’t seen him for 4 weeks and I’m doing well.
Set your boundaries and reclaim your space and sanity. Get your own safe space, and tell him your rules (whether it’s no contact, or whatever)
Until he reaches rock bottom and loses everything, he will almost certainly never stop using that junk.